5 Ways We Speak And Understand Our Own Love Language

5 Ways We Speak And Understand Our Own Love Language

Communication is key.

Everyone has their own preferred way of expressing and receiving love.

There are five main love languages when it comes to receiving and giving affection. Relationships, intimate or otherwise, are built on a myriad of factors. One of those factors being how you emotionally fulfill the needs of your partner. This could be something as simple as holding their hand while walking down the street, or bringing them a cup of coffee to show you were thinking of them.

Here are five ways that people speak and understand their own desired love language...

1. Words of affirmation

If this is your love language, you probably feel most cared for when your partner is open and expressive with you. One way to express emotion is to use words that build up your partner as well as yourself. You love when your partner is honest with how they feel about you, and especially when they show that there’s action behind their words.

You love written words just as much as spoken words. Sometimes, something as simple as receiving a sweet note from your partner could brighten your day.

In your partner telling you how wonderful they think you are, and how much they appreciate you, you feel especially cared for. Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation are powerful communicators of love.

2. Quality time

This love language is about spending time together, while being fully present and engaged in the activity at hand, no matter how trivial. This means giving your partner your undivided attention, and I don't mean sitting on the couch watching television.

When you spend time doing mindless tasks, or something that requires most of your attention — you’re not paying attention to each other. It could mean taking a walk, just the two of you, or going out to eat at a trendy restaurant.

Quality time means putting away your phone, turning off that game of Fortnite, and spending genuine time together. It means getting lost in conversation and rediscovering why you found each other attractive or interesting to begin with.

Time is a precious commodity, it’s important to use it well.

3. Receiving gifts

Those whose love language is receiving isn’t so much material, but more emotional. A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, "Look, he was thinking of me today," or, "She remembered I wanted that for my birthday."

To give someone a gift requires thought and preparation. It could be an act so simple as remembering her favorite candy at the movies, or knowing how he likes his coffee. To those whose way of expressing affection is receiving, the gift itself becomes a symbol of the thought put into it, regardless of the cost.

It is the thought expressed through the thoughtfulness of the gift and as an expression of love.

4. Acts of service

Imagine your boyfriend knew you had a busy week ahead of you, so he filled up the gas tank in your car so you didn't have to. If this is your primary love language, this action will come across romantic and attractive.

Consider actions such as cooking a meal, plugging in their phone if they forget, or picking up flowers on the way to your house. Those acts may seem small, but knowing that your partner did something so considerate without expecting anything in return, odds are you'll feel special and adored.

You feel the strongest in your relationship when your partner shows you his feelings more than he tells you. A gift requires thought, planning, time, effort and energy, regardless of size or cost.

If done with a positive spirit and the genuine intention, they are expressions of love wrapped up in whatever shape or form it comes in.

5. Physical touch

If your primary love language is physical touch, this goes far beyond the bedroom. Public displays of affection such as holding hands, extended graizes and hugs communicate care. Physical accessibility is vital for those who crave touch, while neglect and abuse can prove to be unforgivable and irreparable.

A gentle embrace during a hard time is just the encouragement you need to strengthen your day. Physical touch is a powerful vehicle for communicating. Holding hands, kissing, embracing and sex are ways of communicating emotional love.

For some, physical touch is their primary love language. Without it, they feel unloved and uncared for. With it, their emotional tank is filled, and they feel secure in the love of their partner.

How do I figure out my love language?

Your upbringing can influence the way you give and receive love, as well as the way your parents expressed love growing up.

When you want to show someone you care about them, what thought comes to mind? Your most basic instincts can show your primary love language.

Painful past experiences can also explain your preference in behaviors. If someone you previously trusted hurt you in a deep way, or failed to express their love for you in a positive way, it may not have been that they didn't care about you, but rather you weren't being loved in an effective way for you.

Cover Image Credit: personal

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What Your Hogwarts House Says About You

Get yourself sorted and find out where you belong in the world of witchcraft and wizardry.

Sorting at Hogwarts is a big deal. Being sorted into a house is essentially being placed into a family while you are away from home learning about witchcraft and wizardry. Your house is made up of the people you will live with, go to classes with, play Quidditch with and everything in between. You basically spend 24/7 with them. Your Hogwarts house is your home away from home.

When you get sorted into a house, it is based on your personality traits. The people in your house are typically like-minded people who display the same characteristics as you.

When you’re a first year at Hogwarts, the minute you set foot in the castle you are swept into the Great Hall to have the ancient Sorting Hat placed on your head. This Sorting Hat decides which “family” you’ll be spending your seven years with.

For some, it is very obvious which house they will be in, due to certain personality traits they possess. For others, they may exemplify traits that fit a multitude of houses and are uncertain where they may end up.

To find out where you belong, you can take the official "Harry Potter" Sorting Hat quiz at Pottermore.com. For all you muggles out there, these are the characteristics that the houses possess and what your house says about you:

Gryffindor: The house of the brave, loyal, courageous, adventurous, daring and chivalrous. Those who stand up for others are typically Gryffindors. Brave-hearted is the most well-known Gryffindor characteristic, and Gryffindors are also known for having a lot of nerve.

Gryffindors are people who hold a multitude of qualities alongside the ones listed, making them a very well-rounded house. People who are Gryffindors are often people who could fit nicely into another house but choose to tell the sorting hat they want Gryffindor (there's that bravery). "Do what is right" is the motto Gryffindors go by.

Being a Gryffindor means that you're probably the adventurous and courageous friend, and you are usually known for doing what is right.

Ravenclaw: The house is known for their wisdom, intelligence, creativity, cleverness and knowledge. Those who value brains over brawn can be found here. Ravenclaws often tend to be quite quirky as well. "Do what is wise" is the motto they strive to follow.

Though Ravenclaws can be know-it-alls sometimes, they most likely do know what the wisest decision is.

If you are known for being the quirky friend, the smartest in the group or just great at making wise decisions, you're definitely a Ravenclaw.

Hufflepuff: This house values hard work, dedication, fair play, patience, and loyalty. Hufflepuff’s are known for being just and true. "Do what is nice" is their motto.

Hufflepuff is known as the “nice house” and believes strongly in sparing peoples feelings and being kind. This is not to say that Hufflepuffs aren't smart or courageous. Hufflepuffs just enjoy making others happy and tend to be more patient towards people.

If you ever find that you are too nice for your own good and cannot bear to hurt someone’s feelings, congratulations, you are a Hufflepuff.

Slytherin: This is the house of the cunning, prideful, resourceful, ambitious, intelligent, and determined. Slytherin's love to be in charge and crave leadership. "Do what is necessary" is the motto of this house.

Slytherin is a fairly well-rounded house, similar to the other houses. They are loyal to those that are loyal to them just as Gryffindors are and are intelligent as Ravenclaws.

Slytherin house as a whole is not evil, despite how many dark wizards come out of this house. That is merely based on the choices of those wizards (so if your friend is a Slytherin, don’t judge, it doesn’t mean they are mean people). Slytherins do, however, have a tendency to be arrogant or prideful. This is most likely due to the fact that everyone in Slytherin is exceedingly proud to be there.

What Hogwarts house you’re in says a lot about the person you are, the traits you possess and how you may act in some situations. But in the end, your house is really just your home that is always there for you. Always.

Cover Image Credit: Warner Bros Pictures

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Picking Passion Over Pressure Is The Answer To A Fulfillng Life

Don't crack under pressure, flourish with passion.


What motivates your actions? The answer to this critical question can determine whether or not you are living a fulfilling life. Many of us follow a social script as if we are reading lines from a play. We succumb to the influence of those around us and roam aimlessly in the direction of the masses.

The concept of living within the confinement of certain "norms" is an expectation society calls us to uphold, and it is not an entirely negative idea. But when life becomes "a series of motions to go through", this expectation can become problematic. When you find yourself stressed out about doing whatever it is you think that you have to do, stop and ask yourself if it makes you truly happy. Are you pursuing your passion or are you just performing under pressure? To find true contentment in your life, pick passion over pressure.

Be an individual before an identity.

When people first introduce themselves to a new friend or group of people, they are quick to jump to aspects of their life that compose their identity. Many of us define ourselves by what it is we do, and not necessarily who we actually are. For example, this can include identifying as a member of a club or sports team or even defining yourself based on accolades and accomplishments you have achieved. While these are definitely adequate ways to distinguish yourself from others, have you ever stopped to look beneath the surface? It is important to know what unique qualities make you an individual and not just a part of a larger entity.

By viewing yourself as an individual, you will find your passions in life more easily and find genuine enjoyment in all that you do. Taking on an identity will only hold you under unnecessary pressure to fulfill a role that could leave you feeling unsatisfied later on.

Become self-aware.

To find out what makes you truly happy, you need to establish a clear sense of who you are. Fostering self-awareness is a journey, and it can be discovered through life experiences. In order to figure out what you love doing, push yourself out of your comfort zone to figure out what you don't love doing. This can mean joining a new club, taking a challenging class, or working in an environment that you are unfamiliar with. Once you begin to discover how you react in certain situations, use these personality traits to your advantage.

Don't make the same mistake twice, and avoid taking on a position that you know would not be compatible with your lifestyle. By becoming self-aware, you will discover your passion more easily and will be able to take on realistic opportunities that will prove to be fulfilling. When you try to become someone you are not, it will seem like there is always a lingering pressure to "keep up the act", and it will be harder to accomplish tasks because you don't truly enjoy doing them.

View outside opinions with a filtered lens.

Don't let others dictate your future. When you make life decisions based on what other people think is best for you, you will be pleasing everyone except yourself. Consciously decide whose opinions are valid, meaningful, and constructive to your life. This can include the wisdom of close friends and relatives, professors, or a boss that has known you for years. By finding out who knows you best and who truly desires the best for your life, you can tune out the background noise and hone in on the few voices that actually do matter.

Place value in what these people have to say, and take the words of others with a grain of salt. Avoid letting irrelevant or negative opinions linger in your mind. If you allow the influence of others to infiltrate your decision making, you will find yourself in many regrettable situations and unsatisfied with the outcome of your choices. By subscribing to the helpful advice shared by those closest to you, you can foster your true passion.

Practice positive thinking. 

You can't find out what makes you happy in life without actually experiencing what happiness is. To discover your passion, adopt a positive mindset. Get out of the habit of mentally putting yourself down, and take the word "can't" out of your thought process. The more mental blocks you put on yourself, the less likely you are to have good experiences. Release your inhibitions and train your brain seek positivity in any situation.

Don't allow minor inconveniences to disturb you, and remind yourself of the saying that "it is only a bad day, not a bad life." In doing so, the positive choices you make will lead you in the direction of your passion so that you can live a fulfilling life.

Be open to new ideas. 

Keeping an open mind will allow you to experience life from a new perspective. Even when something seems foreboding, treat it as a lesson. If you cannot think of a positive quality for the situation you find yourself in, then don't assign your circumstances any qualities at all. If you keep a neutral mindset, you will eliminate the possibility for disappointment. This will encourage learning and growth, which are essential in your journey to finding your true passion.

Being open to new ideas will help you avoid sticking to the status quo. By taking part in something you have never done before, you are less likely to find yourself confined by what others expect you to do.

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