Dear My Sweet Emotional Anger Issues,

With you, I manage to get triggered in ways I never thought I would. With you, everyone may tell me that there’s something wrong with me and that I should “see someone” about you, yet who do I really need to see when I have you? Who do I really need to talk to when I know that you’re prevalent, and when I know that there’s no “fixing you” or taking you away from me.

One thing that I refused to do anymore is deny to the rest of my world that you exist. That you are the beaming light in my boil of emotions, the light that brings my worries and anxieties to a whole other level. The worries that are filled with thoughts of failure, cut of ties, and loss of importance I have in someone’s life. Those thoughts turn into you, the emotional anger that I cannot bear to let go off.

And everyone knows that I would be the last one to physically hurt anyone. Or explicitly loss my temper at someone, and it’s only you that knows that the only one I lose my temper at is me. Sure, I yell at my parents sometimes, but when I’m on my own at school, there’s no one to get angry at but myself. There’s no one that I can argue with but me. I could spend hours just yelling at my emotions and wanting to hit my head on a wall because of it, the kind of hit that would knock me out for an extended period of time, so I can spend that time at ease and blissfully unaware.

Trust me, you should know that you are not putting me in an unstable state. You are not dangerous/making me dangerous or putting me a risk for lashing out at anybody. You are not making me feel disgraceful of who I am. You are, simply put, just my emotional anger issues. Your rage is like a small shell, hidden and closed but silently screaming on the inside to give me some kind of release and security on my own.

Once people find know about you, everyone will worry. Some people will say to me: “Are you okay?” And I’ll responded with, “never been better,” because that couldn’t be any more of the truth. Or someone will say to be, “are emotional anger issues a real thing,” and of course I’ll say “yes.” Even though you may not fall under that category of mental illness, you are my issue and everyone has their own issues, and who knows, maybe you are the same issues for some people who probably don’t even know it yet.

You understand me more than anyone else. You understand why I get angry at my lack of success, angry at myself for not having everything put together, and angry at others for reasons that can be both rational and irrational, reasons that are made to be kept just between us. Even though people may think I should hate my emotional anger issues, if anything, I thank you. And for one thing, I know that you aren’t going anywhere anytime soon and for that, I thank you. Please, keep being my issues and helping me find some peace.

Best,

Your most welcoming victim and dearest friend.