Dear Santa,

This hasn’t really been my season, for numerous reasons.

There were L’s on and off the field, and McAdoo’s crumbling organization is finally revealed.

However, my entire career is about to be burned, and I don’t know where else to turn.

So before I shed a tear, I have ~giant~ wishes to ask you for this year.

1. A new sleigh to lead.

As Rudolph, I’ll be able to guide my future sleigh right into the 2019 Superbowl.

2. The warmth and comfort of Tom Coughlin.

No offense Santa, but he's the only lap that I want to sit on this holiday season.

3. The fame and worship of Tom Brady.

But with properly inflated footballs, OK Santa?

4. A retired number.

No. 10 on the field, but No. 1 in my heart.

5. Respect.

You know what they say: Nice guys finish last due to remaining hidden in the shadow of their brother. That ends now, Peyton. Santa’s got my back better than your offensive line had yours on the Colts.

6. To go down in history.

Even though I might be gone next season, Geno Smith, my reputation as Rudolph cannot be replaced. Don’t worry, though. You can be a Dasher, a Dancer or a Prancer at best while attempting to compensate for my absence that I no longer detest.

Santa, you now know my wishes. Please grant them, so that I can keep football on my side, and not end up doing lame commercials for Nationwide.

Love,

Eli