This wasn't the first time I've been out to eat by myself. And it certainly won't be the last. But it was the first time that I was comfortable, confident, and excited to try something new.

Saturday morning I woke up much earlier than I usually do, and I decided to be adventurous. Was it the leftover coffee in my system from work the night before? Was it that I actually got a goodnight's rest for once? Doubtful, but we will go with that.

I woke up, got dressed, put on my makeup even, and said good morning to my housemate before walking out the door.

Where are you going?

Breakfast!

By yourself?

Yeah!

Sure, it's a bit out of character for me to go out and do anything by myself considering I'm an extrovert and I thrive off of the company of others, but this was a different case. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to experience something new with myself. By myself.

I've always said this, and I believe it. You've got to like and love yourself first before you can love anybody.

The breakfast joint was not what I had expected. I was expecting it to be quiet considering the time of day, but it was the complete opposite. Waitresses were bustling around, and I could not count the number of families and children enjoying breakfast together. It made me reminisce for a brief second, but I was snapped back to reality when I was greeted by the hostess.

How many?

One, please.

Did she think it was strange that I was alone? I immediately shoved the negative thoughts out of my mind. Yes, one. Just me. But not and never "just" anything.

I soon found myself at the bar since all the seats were already occupied. Instead of gluing my eyes to my phone, I decided to take out my journal and began writing. I'm sure the guy at the bar a few seats down from me saw my hands shake and flutter across the pages in a frantic manner. I was nervous, yes. But, writing calmed my nerves, and soon the words on the page became coherent sentences and legible opposed to the nervous chicken scratch it was moments before.

Finally relaxed, and hungry, I went on to have the best pancake of my life, enjoyed a cup of coffee, and spend the rest of my morning doing things that make me happy. What a concept!

Why is it so out of the ordinary for us to do little things for ourselves and try new things?

I couldn't help but question why I'd never done this before. In a way, this entire morning was freeing. I was doing something for myself, by myself, and it was okay! It was better than okay, it was refreshing.

So. On a bar stool in the middle of a crowded breakfast joint, I made a vow.

I vowed to myself that from now on, I'm going to take every opportunity life offers without hesitation. I'm going to stop pretending to be the confident young woman I've always wanted to be, and finally be her!

I am going to live.