Easy Ways to Attract Good Men After Divorce

Easy Ways to Attract Good Men After Divorce

For those looking to find love again after a divorce, there are tips that can help you succeed
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Questions About Dating After Divorce Are Common. I just received an email from Sandra, one of my students, and it motivated me to write this post because I think Sandra’s question is a question lots of divorced women have when they start dating after divorce.

Sandra is a 47 year old divorced woman that wanted to start dating and felt like she didn’t know how to get started. She had been on a few dates but none of them really lead in the direction that she wanted to go, namely meeting a man that was serious about a long term relationship. It seemed that she was only meeting players and guys that were into head games.

The first step in the dating coaching session with Sandra was working on her attitude.

You got it, attitude comes first. Are you a single woman that is confident about yourself and clear on what you want? If not, it will show. Now I’m not talking about some ego centered false bravado.

To attract the good guys, you need to connect first with the core of who you are before you will ever connect with Mr. Right. It’s an inside out process.

Men who are players are experts at detecting a lack of self esteem or neediness in a woman. They know what buttons to push to get what they want…. Which is usually a roll in the sack and nothing more.

These guys know how to read your body language like a best seller and wrap you around his little finger. When you are around a man you are attracted to notice your posture, do you make good eye contact? Are you comfortable in your own skin? If not, you need to make it a priority to start to develop feelings of self confidence about yourself.

Learn To Get Comfortable In Your Own Skin

So, which single woman are you?

  • The confident woman makes eye contact and doesn’t avoid it.
  • She is comfortable about herself, she is ok being seen.
  • She has playful mysterious side to her.
  • She takes pride in the way she puts herself together and feels good about herself.
  • She expects a man to respond positively to her and commands respect without being demanding.
  • She doesn’t interrogate a man on the first date. She lets him talk and reveal himself in a very strategic, non-threatening way.
  • She knows how to engage him and keep the conversation flowing.
  • She is relaxed and isn’t in a hurry to Mr. Right.
  • She knows how to keep her emotions in check and is aware of noticing any red flags.

Her self confidence and attitude is paving the way for her to meet lots of quality men and will know with out a doubt when the man of her dreams appears.

So the first step when women after divorce wanting to attract good men, is to work on your attitude and develop your confidence and self esteem.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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My 'Boyfriend Standards' List Hasn't Changed Since I Was 14, And Thank God For That

And I found a man that matches every one of them.

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When I was a freshman in high school, I bought my first journal and the first thing I did in it was write down a pretty extensive list of everything a man who wanted to date me had to possess.

Call me picky, call me extra, but I'd say it was one of the smartest things I did as a fourteen year old. Not only did it make me sit down and actually think about what I desired in a partner but it also made me acknowledge what my time, love, and attention was worth. Throughout high school I didn't date a single guy.

First year of college I met a guy, we were best friends, everyone convinced us we'd be so cute together, so we dated.

But not for long. He met a couple of my standards but definitely not all of them. I was really just an excited freshman who said, "why not go for it? We're already best friends!?" After we broke up, I dug out my now 4 year old journal and opened up to the first page. I read down the list and realized how none of those desires changed and how far he was from the list as a whole. I decided to stick to the list until I came across a man who embodied every bullet point.

- Christian/Catholic

- Sense of Humor

- Cares about personal appearance and hygiene

- Caring and selfless

- Athletic

- Smart

- Responsible

- Someone I'm able to completely open up to

- Chaste

- Sweet and loving

- Someone who treats me like the best and most precious gift from God

- Someone who never fails to make me laugh, smile, and enjoy life.

- Someone who prays with me

- Someone who never fails to amaze me with the way he cares for others and teaches others

- Someone who leads me closer to God

- Goofy

- Understanding

- Pursues me every day

Kinda well thought out huh? Kinda also really long huh? Like there's no way someone could match all of my boyfriend requirements right? Wrong. When you hold to your worth and demand nothing less, when you cling to Christ and pray that He reads your hearts desires, and when you let Him take control, he'll prove His perfect plan and providence in unlikely ways.

I found a man who is God fearing and a truth seeker.

A man who has the goofiest most dad-joke sense of humor ever. Someone who always looks presentable (maybe that's the Marines in him). A man who is so caring and selfless time and time again. Someone who is athletic and who I can compete with at the gym. Someone who has wisdom and is smart and responsible. I found a man who I can open up to and let all of my guards down. Someone who seeks a chaste life and relationship with me. A man who is sweet and loving and who respects me and holds me up as a daughter of the King. Someone who makes me laugh the most, even in inappropriate scenarios. A man that will pray with me and for me. I found a man who constantly looks out for others, lends a helping hand, and wills to educate those he can.

He leads me closer to Christ daily, understands me better than anyone, and pursues me day in and day out.

I didn't know this man existed almost 8 years ago when I first wrote out this list. But my standards didn't waiver, and if they did, the relationship failed. Holding to this list made me hold onto hope that the desires in my heart were not only mine, they were Christ's for me as well.

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