A lot of people have anxiety when it comes to relationships. Many of times, these feelings reflect on your own sense of fear of abandonment or being left. This can be perfectly normal. Let's face it, we all worry sometimes if he doesn't respond. We begin to doubt if he's feeling the same way we are. Like I said, that can be perfectly normal. However, in extreme cases, relationship anxiety and fear of abandonment can lead to far worse consequences for ourselves.

Do you ever feel hopeless, as if you can never hold down a relationship due to your constant worry? Do you ever stay up all night with a racing heart and sweaty palms because you fear he may leave you? Do you sometimes act too clingy or emotionally needy to keep anyone around? Do you have full-blown, uncontrollable panic attacks because of your doubts? This is where relationship anxiety becomes a legitimate issue that needs to be addressed and worked on.

For starters, relationship anxiety is common among people who genuinely have some sort of underlying mental health disorder. For example, borderline personality disorder is characterized by rocky relationships, fear of abandonment, clinginess, reckless behavior, and mood swings, although, there are many other mental illnesses that can contribute to relationship anxiety.

So, I get it. You want me to get to the point now. Here are some things you can do to ease your relationship anxiety symptoms.

Make a list of 5-10 good relationship qualities you possess. Write them as “I” statements.

I am a good girlfriend because I am patient.

I am a good girlfriend because I am not jealous.

I am a good girlfriend because I am supportive.

I am a good girlfriend because I am selfless.

I am a good girlfriend because I am beautiful.

Make sure you are taking care of yourself.

Drink a large glass of ice water, not soda. Not juice. Doing this can hydrate you and calm your body down physically. Oh, and especially avoid energy drinks or caffeinated beverages. These kinds of drinks can increase your heart rate, which is very bad for someone with any sort of anxiety problem. I'm not saying don't ever drink them, but avoid them when you feel panicked.

Eat some fruits and vegetables. Although we love to eat sugary chocolate when we feel distraught, try to avoid fattening food. It might taste good, but in the long run, you could leave yourself feeling guilty for consuming those extra calories. It may make you feel sluggish and undesirable, which can worsen your anxiety.

Don't freak yourself out.

I know, easier said than done. But try not to think about what he's up to when he doesn't respond or when he changes plans. Remind yourself that he is a busy person with obligations, as are you. Give him space, but still communicate. Try scheduling time to talk or text. Find times that work best for the both of you to communicate.

Don't pick up your phone and start messaging all of your friends about his poor communication skills. This won't help anything. A lot of times, friends will try to come up with an alibi for him which just fuels your nervous imagination. If you keep it to yourself, you won't have to feel bad later for overreacting.

Keep yourself busy.

Too much free time means sufficient panic time. If you keep yourself busy by either working or participating in your hobbies, you won't feel obligated to worry about why he hasn't texted you all day. Draw a picture, cook some food, see a movie, hang out with friends. Do anything you can to stay busy and relaxed.

Don't blow up his phone.

No matter what, DON'T! If a guy senses your neediness, he will back off. Men generally avoid confrontation, especially if they are young adults. If you continually text him, he will feel overwhelmed lose his patience. But instead of telling you directly the things you would like to hear, such as, “I'm still here and I'm not leaving you,” he will panic and pull away from you, which will only make you feel more deserted.

Make a list of 5-10 good relationship qualities he possesses.

(His name) is hardworking.

(His name) cares about me.

(His name) is gentle.

(His name) is not boastful.

(His name) has goals.

Be honest with your boyfriend.

Depending on how comfortable you and your boyfriend are with each other, you might be able to explain to him that you have such anxiety about being abandoned. This isn't something you want to approach him with on the first date, but if you've been dating for a couple months and it's really starting to get to you, go ahead and calmly explain to him that you have this issue. Ask him if he could reassure you every once in a while. For example, if he knows he is going to have a really busy day and will not be able to talk to you, suggest that he give you a heads up about it. The four words, “I'm not leaving you,” can be calming.

Don't let relationship anxiety stop you from living a normal life with healthy relationships. Remember that it's just in your head and the more days you defeat it, the less problematic it will be. Take it one day at a time, be honest with yourself and your boyfriend, take care of yourself, and try not to overreact.

Good luck out there.