Dumb Phone
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Dumb Phone

When a smartphone becomes too dumb.

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Dumb Phone
Rachel Goodman

When all of my other article ideas became too serious, I resulted to talking about something funny because what really entitles me to give any of you advice that you should actually listen to? So, I'll start with a funny story.

Looking at the title, I’m sure you think that I’m going to be talking about the ways in which I think my smart phone is dumb. You’re probably expecting me to type reasons (a), (b) and (c) why the iPhone 6S is not really a step-up from anything because it freezes every some odd 27 seconds. But, this is not an article about a smart phone. It’s about a dumb phone: some sort of LG slide phone to be exact. A slight step-up from the flip phone I guess.

Let's start with the fact that my step-dad, Tom, does not have a Facebook (or “Facespace,” as he calls it). He writes his 6 things to do daily on his small legal notepad while using his Office Max calendar with squares the size of the keys of a keyboard. As a realtor, he has to deal with large amounts of people on a daily basis, and he cannot wait to stop talking on the phone. He vows to only use his phone for calls; but there is one other thing that he does like to do.

Emojis are a very complicated subject for Tom, but to complicate things further, I started sending him Bitmojis. For those who don’t know, Bitmoji is an app that lets you create yourself and it sticks you in a bunch of different picture-like emojis that can be used for any mood.

Tom likes to call me a secret eater because I wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning to quietly try and eat a bag of chips. When I'm at school, I send him a funny Bitmoji of me eating.

Ignore the amazing Hanukkah sweater that I wear year-round. Yea, it's cool.

But here’s where things get tricky. His dumb phone can’t event send emojis, let alone an animated picture. So, he resorts to drawing his own emoji-like pictures. He sends them for any occasion you can think of.

Let’s start with something cute. Long story short, he calls me Sugar Pie, because a regular pie may seem sweet, but a pie made with just sugar is really sweet! There is a mug at my house that he uses with my face on it from my high school graduation. So, he'll send me something cute like this quite often.

Or sometimes, he'll send me something like this to tell me that spring was coming soon.

However, sometimes I get something very different. In December, he sent me a picture of Santa Clause with one “Ho!” in a speech bubble. I proceeded to ask where the other two “ho’s” were, and he sent me this.

Real classy.

I proceeded to send it to my sorority group where almost everyone liked it. Maybe he could make it on Total Sorority Move some day.

In all semi-seriousness, he may call his phone dumb, but it may just be smarter than any type of technology us millennials are using today.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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