Democracy is so last year. If you really want to be trendy during this election season, then you definitely shouldn't register to vote at this website. If you're registered to vote, then you totally shouldn't exercise your patriotic right to have a voice in the future of the country. If you need a little more convincing, here are several legitimate reasons not to head to the polls this November.
1. You don’t like any of the candidates.
Because you don’t like them, you refuse to vote for anyone.That’s how it works these days- if you don’t like someone, you protest their candidacy by not voting, and then none of the candidates you hate will become president! Win-win for everyone!
2.You would enjoy living in a dictatorship.
You clearly don’t think that having a voice in your government is valuable, so it’s obvious that you’re totally fine with some sort of governing body controlling every aspect of your life. Democracy is so overrated.
3. You don't have any opinions to express, ever.
In this day and age, people never feel the need to express their opinions. And you, well you’re the chill friend. You’re the easy going friend. You don’t have an opinion about climate change, or about how much of your income is taken out for federal taxes, or how many paid vacation days you’ll get. Nope, no beliefs to fight for.
4. You don’t know anything about the debate.
You don’t know anything about the debate because you obviously don’t have any form of social media, television, or just any contact with the general public. You probably don't have any internet access either, or you’d have access to one of these easy-to-understand guides to this year's election. Gosh, kids these days just don’t understand how hard it is to get information.
5. You’re too busy.
You’re so extremely busy that you can’t spare less than 1 hour out of 1 day every 1,461 days. Your schedule is totally packed on Tuesday, November 8th.
6. You don’t care.
Why should you care about Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump or Gary Johnson’s career plans? It’s not like their future job choices affect your life. Why is it even important if they’re going to choose a big white mansion or a more understated brick colonial? You’re living your life, and they can live theirs however they please.
7. Your vote doesn’t count.
The popular vote is just a scam to make us all feel like we’re participating in the government. It’s obviously a big, expensive conspiracy theory brought about by politicians. Just ask Al Gore about his presidential election in 2000- a few hundred votes could never make a difference.
8. Your dog ate your absentee ballot.
…and also chewed through your wi-fi plug-in and your printer cord, preventing you from registering to vote online or printing out a new form.