The Logic of Drunk Calling Your Ex
Start writing a post

Understanding The Logic Behind Why You Can’t Stop Drunk Calling Your Ex

You might forget what he’s done and what he’s said, but you’ll never forget how he made you feel.

Understanding The Logic Behind Why You Can’t Stop Drunk Calling Your Ex
Comet (2014) Movie Screenshot

During this quarter, in one of my logical philosophy classes, we explored the idea of interpersonal relationships and the reason behind why we feel attached/nostalgic towards past romantic relationships.

It's a topic of interest that I've become pretty knowledgable about, so without further adieu—welcome to my Ted Talk.

Now, imagine this scenario:

It's Friday. Late at night, maybe past midnight. You just drunkenly stumbled into your apartment after a night out with friends or perhaps even a date with some complete a-hole who you narrowly managed to escape from.

You dive into bed face first and curl up under the covers only to blankly stare at the wall. Depending on how many drinks you had, you might feel a bit boozy and begin having random thoughts or past memories flash through your mind.

It's like a Drake music video. Cue Drake's Marvin's Room as background music.

Then, the feelings hit you. All those feelings. You know, of him. Of that guy who you convinced yourself you were over with.

You know, your ex.

So, what do you do? Without much of a second thought, you desperately pick up your phone to dial his number.

For those of you who do this, don't be ashamed. This sad portrayal of an emotionally unstable ex-girlfriend/boyfriend applies to just about everyone.

Even me. Yup. It happens to me, a fiercely independent girl who doesn't define happiness as having a man in her life. Of course, there was a time when I viewed things differently and fell in love with this one particular boy who captured my heart only to rip it apart into a million pieces.

But I mean—we broke up over two years ago. You would think that both of us would've moved on by now and that I would've deleted his number for good.

But here's the thing: I didn't want him back. I didn't call him because I wanted a second chance with him. I still hate his guts for the way he broke my heart and how we ended our tumultuous relationship as quickly as it started.

Then, why? Because I've forgotten many of the things he did/said, but I never forgot how he made me feel.

I miss it. I told him. It.

I missed all the types of "feels" I experienced when we were together. The feelings that were so strongly empowering that I couldn't put them into a sentence of words to utter them aloud.

That feeling when I met him for the first time and something just seemed to click.

That tingly feeling when he nervously asked me out on a first date to an art museum and I couldn't respond because I was smiling ear to ear like an idiot.

All those feelings of feeling admired, loved and appreciated every time he referenced me as his "girl".

The great feelings, the happy and heartwarming ones.

Then, why do human beings latch onto these great feelings, especially when it comes to our past romantic relationships?

Is it nostalgia? Our personal instinct to cling onto some of our treasured memories with the people who hold a special part in our hearts? Our psychological incapability to simply move on?

Here's my logical approach:

We just want to feel loved. And when I say loved—I mean we constantly desire these types of heartwarming feelings. When we can't fulfill this feeling in our current relationships, though, we pinpoint our focus back into past relationships to find that. And most of the time, we get so caught up in the moment that we pick up the phone to dial his number because it just seems right.

This is really off my personal experiences, but let's look at the bigger picture here. Exactly what you can get out my theory behind why you can't stop drunk calling your ex?

First off—I'm not in any way discouraging or encouraging you to call your ex. The choice is 100% yours so if you have a friend/therapist/mom/crisis hotline who you prefer to call instead of your Satan ex-BF, I applaud you. But also, please don't take the chance to call one of your exes to tell him how nostalgic you feel— it will completely catch him off guard and make you seem like a crazy emotional ex GF.

Also— A drunk call is not the equivalent to a booty call. In other words, you should be clear with your intentions. Boys will be boys and if your ex fits under the personal qualities of human basura, he might misconceive your call to be a, I'm-Drunk-And-Lonely-So-Come-Get-With-Me type of call.

Lastly and most importantly— While it's good for you to reminisce on all the great feelings, keep in mind why the relationship ended and how the heartbreak affected you. When you're deep into that moment, it's hard to remember why your ex is your ex. For every heartwarming feeling, there usually a heartbreaking feeling. For every smile, there was a frown. For every happy memory, there was a cringy one.

Value your self-esteem and remember—never let a guy take away your pride.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series


Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?


Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less

14 Last Minute Valentine's Day Gifts Your S.O. Will Love

If they love you, they're not going to care if you didn't get them some expensive diamond necklace or Rolex watch; they just want you.


Let me preface this by saying I am not a bad girlfriend.

I am simply a forgetful one.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

10 Helpful Tips For College Students Taking Online Courses This Semester

Here are several ways to easily pass an online course.

Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels

With spring semester starting, many college students are looking to take courses for the semester. With the pandemic still ongoing, many students are likely looking for the option to take online courses.

Online courses at one time may have seemed like a last minute option for many students, but with the pandemic, they have become more necessary. Online courses can be very different from taking an on-campus course. You may be wondering what the best way to successfully complete an online course is. So, here are 10 helpful tips for any student who is planning on taking online courses this semester!

Keep Reading... Show less

Take A Look At The Extravagant Lane Woods Jewelry Collection For Valentine's Gift Ideas

So if you are currently looking to purchase jewelry for yourself or as a romantic gift for your S.O., you should definitely look at the marvelous and ornately designed Lane Woods Jewelry collection


Just like diamonds are a girl's best friend, so are pearls, rubies, gold, emeralds, and any type of luxurious jewelry you can get your hands on! A woman is incomplete without a piece of jewelry on her and it is a gorgeous accessory required for all occasions. So if you are currently looking to purchase jewelry for yourself or as a romantic gift for your S.O., you should definitely look at the marvelous and ornately designed Lane Woods Jewelry collection.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments