People often tell me I have a pretty awesome part-time job, and I can't disagree. I have amazing co-workers who match my level of quirkiness and great managers who are understanding of my crazy schedule. I have super sweet customers who put up with my late-night shenanigans. I mean, I get to drink AND serve coffee, for Pete's sake.
However, as much as I adore it, there are some negatives about being a barista. While I had to think long and hard, here are some that are unique and quite specific.
1. Weird, after-work smell.
About 98.6 percent of the time, I come home from work smelling like delicious caramel or vanilla syrup mixed with the lightest touch of coffee. It's a scent that's advertised in one of those cheesy fragrance commercials and titled Le Café. The other 1.4 percent of the time, though, I come home smelling like I took a bath in wet coffee grounds mixed with the lightest touch of panic and exhaustion. I'm not exactly sure where this smell comes from, since I don't make a habit of wading through used coffee, but it definitely happens occasionally.
2. Know everything about coffee.
I've been in the barista game for about five years, so I've picked up a thing or two about most coffee drinks, especially the drinks we sell at the shop. It's a neat little party trick to be able to rattle off the ingredients without hesitation, but also a bit weird in the long run.
3. Actually knowing nothing about coffee.
As much of a self-proclaimed and employed coffee snob I am, I don't know everything about every drink ever. There have been customers who come up to the shop, asks, "Can I have a . . .," and then throws a whole sentence of Italian at me. Now, I've taken at least a year and a half of Italian, but that doesn't mean I know how to make a drink that's literally translated as "large drowned spotted."
4. That one weird "hot barista" trope.
Apparently, baristas have this stereotype about being attractive in a hipster-y way. I haven't had this comparison myself (that I know of), but I have had some co-workers thrown into this trope by customers. I'm not against being thought as attractive, but it's an additional pressure to look like a hipster model whilst I'm steaming milk.
5. Coffee stains.
Coffee stains are a continuous and endless bane of my barista existence. I have stains on my work shirts, all of my jeans, and numerous pairs of shoes. After a shift, my arms, hands, and sometimes even face are speckled with little brown spots. Stains are an unfortunate but necessary part of my barista life.
6. Overanalyzing another barista's process.
This happens when I go to literally any other coffee shop. Because I know how to personally make most things I order, it's difficult not to silently critique the barista's techniques. Though I'm not that one person who step-by-step drink instructions across the counter, as I've had a couple baristas do that to me whilst I'm working, I will count the seconds that the milk is steamed.
7. Having to deal with other coffee snobs.
From other baristas to just those "I'll have an iced venti caramel macchiato" people, some customers are very particular about their bean juice. It's understandable, as most fancy drinks cost around $4, but it's a bit frustrating when someone orders an extra sweet raspberry latte with skim milk and a half shot of espresso and then tells me that it's not sweet or foamy enough (true story).
8. Generally unflattering uniforms.
Some mom and pop coffee shops allow employees to wear casual clothes during their shift. Unfortunately, KU Dining is not one of them. So, our uniform consists of black hat, grey KU Dining shirt with name tag, jeans, and closed-toed shoes. While I often remind myself that there are worse things I could be wearing to work, looking like a dark, colorless blob isn't entirely my style.
9. No feeling in the extremities.
By extremities, I mean my hands, specifically my fingers. Between handling the espresso machine and brewing coffee, I deal with tons of boiling hot water in my line of work. This has given me plenty of burn scars and a less than optimal feeling in the tips of my fingers.
10. Hypersensitivity to coffee things.
Another incredibly weird party trick I've perfected over the years is that I can distinguish various coffee drinks simply from their smells. Before you get too excited about my awesomeness, I can usually only tell the difference between two incredibly different coffee drinks, like a mocha (espresso, milk, and chocolate) and a caramel macchiato (espresso, milk, vanilla, and caramel). Also, I can be sitting in class and smell if someone has coffee. I sometimes feel like a feral dog on the prowl for caffeine 100 percent of the time, which isn't too far from the truth.
I absolutely love my job and the people, co-workers and customers alike. Though there are some downsides, the positives of being a barista completely outweigh them, hands down.