I have known that I have a creative mind for a long time. I have known ever since six-year-old me came back from her first grade class with a hand-written and drawn storybook that detailed the adventures of the friends she made in class. My family still jokes that from that moment onward, they knew that I was going to be a writer. As a child, I had this untapped source of creativity that flowed from my brain as often as possible.
All I ever wanted to do was write stories, or color, or even have imaginary conversations with imaginary characters. Growing older, I realized that I still have that wealth of creativity. My mind still functions in the same way. Little things inspire my desire to create characters and their adventures, but now I have realized that I do not have the time, proper motivation, or environment to access those thoughts as much as I would like.
As a university student, I barely have time to rest, let alone sit down and write out what I had been thinking about in the shower. My daily schedule is swamped with class and the work assigned for it, extracurriculars such as clubs and sporting events and socializing with friends. If i get to sleep before midnight, I consider that a successful and relaxing day. I wish that I had the time to really sit down and think about things that I want to write.
That desire prompted me to seek out as many opportunities to write as possible. First, I took a creative writing course. Then, I signed up for organizations that encourage and publish writing pieces as a way to channel multiple dimensions of my creative mind. While I thoroughly enjoyed and still enjoy these programs, they did not fulfill my craving for truly creative thought and time to focus on it.
I have the same issue with both the creative writing course and the writing organizations that I am involved in. I purposely sought out these programs because of the fact that they would not dictate what I would be writing about. In fact, in both, I have as much creative liberty as I want and for that, I am thankful. These outlets allow me to discuss whatever is on my mind in any way I would like to. The flaw in these programs, though, is that I am on a strict schedule to submit works.
While I wish I had the time and energy to channel my most creative and thought-out ideas each and every week, I simply do not. I want to publish works that I will take pride in. I want everything that I submit to be reflective of my capability, but sometimes, I am left drawing a blank, or not having the motivation. More frequently, though, I do not have the time to dedicate to producing incredible work on a set schedule.
Like I originally said, I am so happy, thankful and grateful for the programs that I have been and still continue to be involved in. They have shown me different styles of creative writing, plus different platforms of expressing my thoughts.
They have also taught me that my creativity needs to come from taking alone time. I cannot be forced to sit and try and create, but I have to do it willingly and with motivation only coming from within. Now, I definitely have to take more time to sit and let my mind run free.