It’s every woman’s worst nightmare: You’re sitting on the subway next to the gentleman who is sitting spread eagle, taking up a third of your seat. You don’t mind, however, because you’re just so small it doesn’t matter! His delightful perfume of beer, cheese and regret starts to make you hungry. Thankfully, you have a bag of Doritos.

Then, all of the sudden, as if straight from a horror movie, your chip crunches, causing everyone to stare at you! You try to hide the evidence but your chips just won’t fit into your bag and your cheese-stained fingers are a dead give away.

Put down your apron. Your gender status as a lady has been shot.

Thankfully, Doritos has saved future incidents like this from happening. Doritos is apparently making new chips, "women’s Doritos," that are less crunchy, less messy and smaller to fit into your purse than regular Doritos. Problem solved, you may now go to the powder room and fix your makeup; you have been granted your gender status once again.

Pardon my jokes, but seriously, Doritos, what the hell?

In a day and age where we’re addressing issues such as the #MeToo movement and equal rights, Doritos has the audacity to enforce gender stereotypes through chips?

Yeah, so it’s ridiculous to have gendered chips. Not ridiculous, actually. Stupid. But let’s dive really deep into the subliminal messages these chips are sending. Historically and traditionally, gender roles have enforced that women remain neat, petite and stay quiet. It is these stereotypes that have caused women to receive lower pay, unequal rights and countless experiences with sexual harassment.

By making chips that are quieter, less messy and smaller, and marketing them specifically toward women, the exact gender issues women have fought for years are only being implemented further.

Look, no one wants to sit next to that one person in lecture who always eats stinky tuna or snacks on crunchy corn nuts (seriously, everyone, can we knock that off? It’s just rude). I’m not saying that everyone should be smacking on their food; in fact, loud chewing is my ultimate pet peeve. I’m just saying that if Doritos wanted to create a chip that draws less attention through these tactics, they should have just marketed them to all genders.

Chip brands have created lighter options for chips and have been very successful because they market them toward everyone. Why didn’t Doritos just do the same with their less distracting chips?

This idea is just offensive and downright weird. As “ladylike” as I am, I’ll be the first to grab a handful of nacho cheese Doritos and go to town. If you want to sell more, leave your gendered chips alone and market toward a more meaningful cause