I pray I am not the only one. I pray that someone else in the world understands. Understands what it is like to be out of control of even your own emotions, understands what it's like to wrestle with yourself own mind, understands what it's like to be so constantly at war with yourself, knowing you can never hope to come out on the victorious side, simply because there isn't one. Some people live in a world that is black and white, while there are those of us like myself who live in the gray.

I can't do anything without double guessing myself, scrutinizing each and every word, more concerned for someone else when I am the one who has been hurt. I can't stand up for myself without worrying that maybe I was too harsh, maybe I hurt their feelings in the process. But there comes a time in your life when you have got to get a grip and quit being the doormat for everyone in the world. There comes a time when you have to realize and take ownership of the fact that you matter. I am not saying to go out and say whatever you think at the cost of others. However, I am saying that you don't have to suffer the cruelty of others indefinitely. People will expose your weaknesses and use them to their benefit. Don't let them. Don't feel bad about putting your foot down and saying enough is enough.

I have had the good fortune to find a couple of dear friends, my incredible boyfriend, and I have always had and forever will have two amazing parents. These people are my foundation. And I have grown up enough to know that it isn't the quantity of people in your life, it's the quality. I don't need to be everyone's friend, and everyone doesn't have to like me. I don't care to bend over backwards everyday to appease people who are simply going to take advantage of me and then throw me out like yesterday's trash. Enough is enough.

I am not angry anymore. I refuse to accept that I am not worth it. So, I am going to do what I need to do, stay true to who I am, and stop worrying about what anyone else thinks. I will be kind, helpful, and dependable but I am done trying to please people who don't care about me in the slightest. This game of personal game is disgusting and I am done with it. I will not be a pawn anymore. We are coming to a point in our lives when we have to grow a back bone, to stand up and declare that everyone is important, and to cut off the people who don't believe that. Don't support that because that will lead to nothing but hurt and disappointment for the rest of your days. Save yourself the heartache.