Feminism Is Great And All, But I Don't Want To Be The Same As A Man

Feminism Is Great And All, But I Don't Want To Be The Same As A Man

Call me crazy, but I like being a woman.

I want to start off by saying that I don't think that there's anything wrong with the concept of feminism.

I totally believe that women were created to be as equally valuable as men. Me being a woman doesn't make me less valuable than a man. When we look at feminism from this perspective, it makes sense. Women should be paid an equal amount for putting in the same work as a man does. Women should have a lot the same job placement opportunities as men- that's fair.

The sad thing is that most people who claim to be feminists have a completely different concept of equality than what I just stated.

As I've studied the trends of our generation and the recent uprising of the feminist movement, I noticed that there's a bit of a paradox in their belief system. Many aren't fighting so that they'll be seen as equally valuable as men. They're fighting so that they can be seen as the same as a man.

These are also generally the same people who are complaining that chivalry is dead and that men don't treat women like they used to, but I thought that they didn't want to be treated differently? How could you expect a guy to pay for your meal or pull out your chair when you're begging him to see you as the same as himself.

I apologize if I seem offensive, but this is not the lifestyle that I want to support. As a mixed person living in the literal woods of south Mississippi, I've understood the concept of "diverse but equal" from a very young age. I was adopted by an all-white family. I do not want to be seen as white.

Instead, I understand that I'm equally as valuable as everyone else, and I celebrate my own race and culture. As women, we should do the same thing. Recognize that we are equal to man, but celebrate the differences that we have.

I'm happy to be a woman. As naturally independent as I feel that life has made me, I still like for my door to be held open. I like the fact that I am seen as someone meant to be protected by a man. Yes, I can be loud, assertive, and a little rough sometimes, but I'm proud that God made me to one day protect my husband in a way that only a woman could. Is it so wrong to be happy with being different than a man?

This is why I think that since our generation is so confused with themselves- their genders, races, the general concept of identity. We're so adamant about pushing self-love, but we tell women that they're worthless unless they can be seen as the same as a man. This may be against today's status quo, but I don't want to be seen in the same way men are.

Cover Image Credit: 8Tracks

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I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar

Independent Woman - Who Is She?

When I think of an independent woman, I think of a free woman.

This woman belongs to herself and no one else. She is strong and confident. When she walks by people stare at her; not because of her beauty or fashion, but because of her presence. She lets no one dictate her. She works for what she wants. She does whatever she pleases. This woman is wild and graceful.

She moves to the beat of her own drum. She is what Maya Angelo called Phenomenal Woman. She’s every woman who’s thought for herself. Any woman who has ever fought for her life. She’s the woman I aspire to be…

I see myself and I don’t like who she is. I long to become this independent woman. But I can't seem to find her within myself. I think a big problem is that I forgot who I wanted to be as I grew up. I’ve settled for a life that is consistent and ordinary.

I’ve always admired a woman who knew what she wanted out of life. For me, there’s an aura that surrounds these women. It always takes my breath away when I get to see it. This year I’ve made it my goal to figure this out. I think most women are like myself. Lost to the daily grind, lost to their inner soul. And with that, they forget themselves.

They forget what they want in life, what they wanted when they were just kids. I have forgotten, so how do I get back to that little girl who wanted to be Catwoman when she grew up? And I don’t mean Catwoman, the anti-hero, but the woman behind it all. Who stood for ultimate feminine power. She is wise, smart, daring and classy. There are so many more things I could say about her - I could go on all day.

This year I turn 30; the goal is to become this independent woman or at least get close to it. It’s impossible to say I’ll be this woman by the end of the year, which is when my birthday is. But what I can do is take steps to becoming her. Which means working to become a person I like and respect. Becoming my true self. Which also means doing things I’m afraid of, working hard, and trying my best at everything. I made a list of some of the things I’ve always wanted to do but never had the courage to do.


1. Take a ballroom dance class

2. Try out for a play or T.V. role

3. Move to another state or country

4. Learn French

5. Finish writing my book

6. Get my own apartment

7. Learn to skateboard

These are just some of the dreams I had as a child, and some are from when I started to get older. I think if I could capture the kid version of myself and remember who she was, and what she wanted out of life, I would be a lot happier.

I think that goes for everyone, not only women but everyone who has lost themselves. We need to work on ourselves, to become happier, and be the person we want to be.

So, I decided to set myself on fire and be reborn from the ashes. I think that’s the only way to be true to myself - to start over. I don’t know if this will work or not, but I have to try.

Cover Image Credit: Dark Woman

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It's Not You, It's Most Guys

Rest in the fact that it's not just you as an individual who is a poor representation of the male gender, it's actually most of you.

Boys. Can't live with them, can't live without them — or, maybe we can.

It's nothing personal when I say this, boys, really, it's not you, it's most guys.

Rest in the fact that it's not just you as an individual who is a poor representation of the male gender, it's actually most of you.

Notice, I said most because I know for a fact there are wonderful guys out there, like the man who raised me, my father.

But, when it comes to most of the guys I've met that are in my same age bracket, let's just say, "don't let the door hit you on the way out."

I'm tired of this societal standard that girls need a man because then, guess what? Guys assume we need them. Guys assume that women need them to make something of themselves, but that's not the case at all.

Every guy I meet automatically assumes that I would just bow down to whatever their life goals and life plans are.

Newsflash: I won't.

There's a difference between compromising and expecting the other person to just up and leave their goals and aspirations in the dirt because you feel that yours are more important.

There's nothing wrong with willingly wanting to be a stay-at-home mom, but most guys just assume that you're going to be OK with that.

That's wrong.

Not every female was placed on this Earth to be a stay-at-home housewife. For those who do it, there's nothing wrong with it, but, like I said, men need to stop assuming that it's their choice whether or not women get to pursue their career goals and aspirations.

Men's career goals are not more important than women's career goals. They're equally important.

So, it's nothing personal when I say I'm not interested, it's just that I'm really not interested in being treated as though I am less than anyone else — especially on the basis of my gender.

Not all women dream of being a mom, but it's OK, it's not just you who thinks that. It's most guys, so you're in good company.

Cover Image Credit: Wikimedia

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