I Don't Want To Have Kids, So Stop Telling Me I'll Change My Mind

I Don't Want To Have Kids, So Stop Telling Me I'll Change My Mind

Seven kids and a house with a white picket fence might be your idea of a perfect life, but it sure isn't mine.

Growing up, I remember thinking to myself from a very young age that I would never want to have a baby because of how painful it looked on TV. Now that I'm older, I still share those same thoughts, but have more of a basis behind my decision. I don't want to have children, never have, never will. I've listened to my friends make up names for their future kids and babysat for family friends, but none of it has changed my mind. Do I like kids? Of course. Am I cool aunt material? Totally. Mom of the year material? Not so much.

My plan for the future is extremely centered around my own dreams. I aspire to become a national news anchor and honestly, kids don't really go hand in hand with that kind of work. Many times, I have seen some of my favorite anchors leave their dream careers for motherhood. Every single time, I never understand why, but I admire their decision. It's a big, admirable thing to give up your dream job to raise a child, but I could never do it.

However, not everyone thinks that this is a good choice or even a question. Quite frankly, I'm very tired of getting the whole "you'll change your mind one day" spiel because I honestly never see that happening for me. I am goal oriented, driven, and I almost throw up every time I change a dirty diaper while I babysit.

As much as I really do love kids, diaper duty is hard work. I get it done, but I always think "Man, I seriously could not do this every day for years." Moms are goal oriented and driven too, don't get me wrong, just in a completely different way. I have so much respect for women who devote their life to raising children, whether they have a career or not, because I know that I am just not cut out for that. I could never give up my career, or try to balance motherhood and a career. Call me selfish, but I'm being realistic here.

I dream of my future career, husband, even dogs, but I just don't see kids anywhere in that mix. So stop telling me that once I "meet the perfect man I'll then want the perfect kids", or that "Mr. Right will think I'm Mrs. Wrong for not wanting babies", or that you "thought the same thing when you were young and foolish". Stop.

Maybe seven kids and a house with a white picket fence is your idea of a perfect life, but it sure isn't mine. So let future me buy expensive presents for my friend's baby showers with all of the money I'll be saving on diapers and become a cool aunt to my sister's children in peace: stop telling me what I want for myself. Respect my decision and keep your opinions to yourself.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Girl Who Isn't Graduating On Time, It Won't Feel Any Less Amazing When You Do

Graduating is something to be proud of no matter how long it takes you.


To the girl who isn't graduating college "on time,"

I promise, you will get there eventually, and you will walk across that graduation stage with the biggest smile on your face.

You may have a different journey than the people you grew up with, and that is OKAY. You may have some twists and turns along the way, a few too many major changes, a life change, you may have taken most of a semester off to try to figure your life out, and you're doing the best you can.

Your family and your friends don't think less of you or your accomplishments, they are proud of your determination to get your degree.

They are proud of the woman you are becoming. They don't think of you as a failure or as someone any less awesome than you are. You're getting your degree, you're making moves towards your dreams and the life that you have always wanted, so please stop beating yourself up while you see people graduating college on time and getting a job or buying a car.

Your time will come, you just keep doing what you need to do in order to get on that graduation stage.

Your path is set out for you, and you will get there with time but also with patience. The place you're at right now is where you are supposed to be. You are going to thrive and you are going to be the best version of you when you graduate and start looking for a company that you will be proud to work for. Don't look on social media and feel less than, because at least you're still working towards your degree that you are finally passionate about. You will be prepared. You will be ready once the time comes and you cross the stage, move away, and start your journey in whatever field you're going into.

Don't question yourself, and be confident in your abilities.

With love,

A girl who isn't graduating on time

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The College Experience

A series telling the true experiences of modern day college students.


Everyone tells you to prepare for the best years of your life.

They tell you to prepare for all of the new challenges and new opportunities.

They say that you will meet your future people in college.

What they don't tell you is how much it will hurt.

Seeing old friends disappear because you are no longer home.

Watching your grades fall because the class is too difficult to pass.

Hearing and witnessing your family struggle and you aren't able to be with them.

Seeing all of the adventures that others are going on while you are stuck in your dorm room with the same stack of papers you have been trying to finish for three days now.

They don't tell you how difficult the transition will be.

They especially don't tell you how hard it is to live with someone.

The best of friends can live together and then grow to hate each other.

Complete strangers will move in and never speak.

You'll find friends that are simply just your "writing friend" or "band friend".

Many of the labels from high school can sometimes stick around.

If you're not out drinking or clubbing, then people think you don't have a life.

College is great, but don't think that it will be easy.

You have to make things easy in order for things to happen.

You can't just go around doing whatever and expect things to work out.

It takes time and it takes commitment to succeed in life, and in college.

The best way to deal with it all, find someone!

Find someone that you can get coffee with and watch sports with.

Find someone to eat dinner and lunch with.

Find someone to study religion and math before the next test.

Find someone!

Find your someone, a friend or someone special, to help you make it through everything that life throws at you.

If I had that someone I might have been better off my first year.


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