Don't Let The Success Of Others Create Bitterness In You

Don't Let The Success Of Others Create Bitterness In You

Newsflash: this attitude gets you nowhere.

Bitterness stems from jealousy. It's as simple as that. An acquaintance of yours posts on Facebook about their new job or their promotion and, the second that you see it, every kind thought that you've ever had about this person flies out the window simply because they've achieved a goal. You may try to rationalize the bitterness that you feel by telling yourself that it is just a fluke and that they don't deserve it- that this definitely has to be their peak, but that will only help for so long. Eventually, you probably end up just ignoring them so that you don't have to feel like you're having their success rubbed in your face all the time. Newsflash: this attitude gets you nowhere and you wouldn't be feeling this way if you weren't subconsciously wishing that you had the determination to achieve your own goals that you've set for yourself.

We live in an incredibly future-driven society, meaning it is frowned upon for us not to be constantly working towards something- some kind of big, distant idea for our future. While it sucks that we seemingly aren't allowed a second to live in the moment, I suppose that this is ingrained in us for our own good because, without anything to set our minds to, we often just sit idly waiting for something to fall into our laps. We tend to feel bitterness for those around us that are successful because it is easier to feel that way than to set our minds to accomplishing whatever goal that we really want to achieve for ourselves. Sometimes, the bitterness that we feel drives us. We get filled with such energy, negative as it may be, that it shifts us into gear and helps us to get things done. While this may be effective at first, there comes a point in the future when it is more beneficial to the overall outcome that we change our thinking into working hard for the sake of our own happiness and not in spite of others'.

Harboring bitterness inside of you creates walls between you and those around you. It is impossible to create lasting, meaningful connections with your peers when you are constantly dreading the moment that they are going to achieve something that you haven't. It is a fact that some are not as driven to achieve goals as others and that's okay. We all have to live our lives according to what we want to achieve and some people are content with living a more simple lifestyle.

However, if you think of yourself as one of these people who is content with the way things are, but find yourself feeling bitter towards your successful peers more often than not, maybe it's time you try for yourself to change something up in your life by setting small goals for yourself every day. Accomplishing something that you have trained yourself to think of as a goal the same way that your successful peers think of their's will make you feel proud of yourself for having achieved something you set your mind to.

I am writing this article for myself just as much as I am for you. Bitterness is shallow and allowing such a shallow thing to impact your life in such a profound way is just plain silly. It can ruin relationships and prevent new ones from forming. We all should just a second and look inside ourselves instead of projecting our unhappiness onto others.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Me I Was In Middle School

For showing me how to love, how to be the best version of myself, and how to be me, thank you.

Hey, Middle School Me,

Wow, has shit changed. Physically, emotionally, socially, everything has changed. The once boy-dressed, emo-looking, social-climber middle schooler has flourished into a thriving, loving, thoughtful college student that is paving the way for her future. As much as I hate thinking about how you looked and the way you acted, you were a huge part of making me who I am today. So, thank you.

Thank you for making me the loud, outgoing, passionate person I am today. Without your fearlessness to be who you are, I wouldn’t be here today.

Thank you for teaching me to always give it your all, regardless of the consequences of doing so. Without you, I wouldn’t have had the desire to want to be a member of the Executive Board of some of the most astute clubs on campus.

Thank you for being motivated and driven academically and in extracurriculars. Without you, I would constantly crumble to the pressures closely associated with college.

Thank you for finding your voice so young. Without you, I would struggle to be able to convey my beliefs and perspectives on so many controversial issues that plague the Rutgers community today.

Thank you for being fearless and passionate. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to find the heart or desire to want to pursue the degree that I am.

Thank you for always loving yourself at your worst. Without you, I would never be so confident in myself and my abilities.

Thank you for always caring about those closest to you and for always looking out for them. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to put those most important to me before myself.

Thank you for being you. Without you, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

Although so much has changed over the years and I cringe at the thought of my middle school existence, I am thankful for the person that you were during that life-changing, tumultuous time. You have helped to shape me into the person that I am today and taught me lessons that I will take with me for the rest of my life. For showing me how to love, how to be the best version of myself, and how to be me, thank you. I will always appreciate the person that you were. In ten years, I hope to look back at myself in college just as I did now with you.

All love,

College-Girl Sarah

Cover Image Credit: Sarah Hertz

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Stop Asking "Why" And Start Asking "Why Not" Instead

You've got four years to take advantage of a college campus.

The best advice I got before starting college was to say yes to everything. It's been almost three years since then.

You don't think about it much when you start school. You're so nervous about transitioning into that next stage of life that you let some things pass you by. That entire first semester is about figuring out classes, friends, and that newfound sense of independence.

It wasn't until I got out of the blur that was my freshman year that I realized I hadn't let myself have a chance to explore all these opportunities around me. I remember being in high school and just getting involved in everything that sounded interesting to me. I took every chance I got and was so much happier for it. So why did I spend a year letting so many things pass me by?

Something flipped when I got back to campus for my sophomore year. I decided to say why not. Why not start working for the wrestling team, or join a "Survivor"-based organization, or use university funds to go on a service trip to Oklahoma? I could do all these things that I would end up loving and there was no one to stop me.

As a freshman four years of college sounds long and daunting. I'm now nearing the end of my junior year and it keeps hitting me how short this all feels. We get a four year buffer between living with our parents and having to be a full-fledged adult. That's four years to take opportunities and do things I probably won't have the chance to do after I graduate.

I've gotten to continue working for a sport I love and be a part of a student organization which both have nothing to do with my future career plans. But these two things have brought me people that I know won't be out of my life anytime soon. I'm not going to get the chance to go learn about culture and build ramps in the Cherokee Nation again. I'm so lucky to have gotten to do it twice now.

Everything that I've ended up loving in college has come from just saying yes to that blind leap of faith. I've had all these amazing experiences and met some of my favorite people through this one simple word.

There's so many opportunities being thrown at you in four years. Stop giving yourself reasons to say no.

Just say yes.

Cover Image Credit: Samantha Tremblay

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