Don't Let The Success Of Others Create Bitterness In You

Don't Let The Success Of Others Create Bitterness In You

Newsflash: this attitude gets you nowhere.
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Bitterness stems from jealousy. It's as simple as that. An acquaintance of yours posts on Facebook about their new job or their promotion and, the second that you see it, every kind thought that you've ever had about this person flies out the window simply because they've achieved a goal. You may try to rationalize the bitterness that you feel by telling yourself that it is just a fluke and that they don't deserve it- that this definitely has to be their peak, but that will only help for so long. Eventually, you probably end up just ignoring them so that you don't have to feel like you're having their success rubbed in your face all the time. Newsflash: this attitude gets you nowhere and you wouldn't be feeling this way if you weren't subconsciously wishing that you had the determination to achieve your own goals that you've set for yourself.

We live in an incredibly future-driven society, meaning it is frowned upon for us not to be constantly working towards something- some kind of big, distant idea for our future. While it sucks that we seemingly aren't allowed a second to live in the moment, I suppose that this is ingrained in us for our own good because, without anything to set our minds to, we often just sit idly waiting for something to fall into our laps. We tend to feel bitterness for those around us that are successful because it is easier to feel that way than to set our minds to accomplishing whatever goal that we really want to achieve for ourselves. Sometimes, the bitterness that we feel drives us. We get filled with such energy, negative as it may be, that it shifts us into gear and helps us to get things done. While this may be effective at first, there comes a point in the future when it is more beneficial to the overall outcome that we change our thinking into working hard for the sake of our own happiness and not in spite of others'.

Harboring bitterness inside of you creates walls between you and those around you. It is impossible to create lasting, meaningful connections with your peers when you are constantly dreading the moment that they are going to achieve something that you haven't. It is a fact that some are not as driven to achieve goals as others and that's okay. We all have to live our lives according to what we want to achieve and some people are content with living a more simple lifestyle.

However, if you think of yourself as one of these people who is content with the way things are, but find yourself feeling bitter towards your successful peers more often than not, maybe it's time you try for yourself to change something up in your life by setting small goals for yourself every day. Accomplishing something that you have trained yourself to think of as a goal the same way that your successful peers think of their's will make you feel proud of yourself for having achieved something you set your mind to.

I am writing this article for myself just as much as I am for you. Bitterness is shallow and allowing such a shallow thing to impact your life in such a profound way is just plain silly. It can ruin relationships and prevent new ones from forming. We all should just a second and look inside ourselves instead of projecting our unhappiness onto others.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To All Incoming Freshmen, When You Get To College, Please Don't Be THAT Freshman

I am pretty sure we all know who I'm talking about.

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As we are all counting down the days to return to campus, students are looking forward to meeting new people and reuniting with old friends. And then, there is the freshman.

We have all been there. The eagerness and excitement have been slowly building up through months of summer vacation, all waiting for this moment. I understand the anxiousness, enthusiasm, and insecurities. The opportunity to meet new people and explore a new area is very intriguing. But let's be real, you are here to make memories and get an education. So here are a few pieces of advice from a former college freshman.

1. Don't be that freshman who follows their significant other to college

This is the boy or girl who simply can not think for themselves. The 17-year-old puts their own personal goals and interests aside to sacrifice for a six-month high school relationship. This will more than likely end at an end of semester transfer after the relationship has been tested for a month or two in college life. So if you want to really enjoy your freshman year, make your own decisions and do what is best for you.

2. Don't be that freshman who lets their parents pick their major

"You are not going to school just to waste my money."

This is a statement you might have heard from your parents. As true as it might seem, this is definitely not a good way to start your college years. If you are not majoring in something you can see yourself doing, you are wasting your time. You can major in biology, go to medical school, and make the best grades. But if deep down you don't want to be a doctor, you will NOT end up being a good doctor. When it comes to picking your major, you really have to follow your heart.

3. Don't be that freshman who gets overwhelmed with the first taste of freedom

Yes. It is all very exciting. You don't have a curfew, you don't have rules, you don't have anyone constantly nagging you, but let's not get carried away. Don't be the freshman who gets a tattoo on the first night of living on your own. Don't be the freshman who tries to drink every liquor behind the bar. Don't be the freshman who gets caught up being someone that they aren't. My best advice would be to take things slow.

4. Don't be that freshman who starts school isolated in a relationship

I'm not telling you not to date anyone during your freshman year. I am saying to not cut yourself off from the rest of the world while you date someone. Your first year on campus is such an amazing opportunity to meet people, but people are constantly eager to start dating someone and then only spend time with that person.

Be the freshman who can manage time between friends and relationships.

5. Don't be that freshman who can't handle things on their own

It is your first year on your own. Yes, you still need help from your parents. But at this point, they should not be ordering your textbooks or buying your parking pass. If you need something for a club or for class, YOU should handle it. If you're having roommate problems, YOU should handle it, not your parents. This is the real world and college is a great time for you to start building up to be the person you want to be in the future, but you can't successfully do that if your parents still deal with every minor inconvenience for you.

6. Don't be that freshman who only talks to their high school friends

I know your high school was probably amazing, and you probably had the coolest people go there. However, I believe that college is a great time to be on your own and experience new things. Meeting new people and going to new places will allow you to grow into a more mature person. There is a way to balance meeting new friends and maintaining friendships with childhood friends, and I am sure you will find that balance.

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Remember To Live In The Present, There's No Reason To Be Concerned About The Past

Constantly thinking about the future will cause you to neglect the present.

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Everyone pretty much does this. During a moment when you're bored and you suddenly start daydreaming about the glamorous life you'll have in maybe five to ten years is not a problem in my eyes. It's normal to think about the type of life you want in the future. However, if thinking about the future causes you to ignore and miss out on what is happening at the moment then that kind of is a problem. Even though I know that constantly thinking about or worrying about the future is not good, I still seem to do it. It's a habit that is hard for me to break.

I have read many blog posts and watched many videos about how living in the present will make you happier. I've always been the type of person to constantly think about the future; whether it's about something as important as my career or something not as important like which set of pajamas I'm going to wear to bed. I've caught myself multiple times missing out on something due to zoning out and most of the time thinking about something that doesn't matter until later to come. I'll never forget the time I went to see pop and r&b; singer, Yuna, perform during my sophomore year of college. I remember I couldn't wait for her to perform my favorite song of hers. When she finally did I unintentionally started thinking about which classes I was going to take in the spring semester! As if that even mattered at the moment! I realized that I was missing the song and brought myself back to earth before it was over.

There have also been many times where I would lose some sleep because I would think about the future, and at times the past as well.

It has never been to the point of me not being able to sleep for so many nights in a row, but I know constantly thinking about the future or past, especially if there is stress added to it, could cause sleepless nights to occur. To me living in the moment is the way to live. Thinking about the future and preparing for it is not at all a bad thing. Even bringing up the past, as long as it is positive or it will be used for teaching is okay too! I believe that it's bad when thinking about the future and past stops you from enjoying what is happening at the moment. I am definitely going to try harder to be more in the present and to enjoy the moment myself.

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