Well, it happened. I got pulled over for the first time.

The whole experience was terrifying. If you knew my father, you would be scared too.

As soon as I saw the cop start pulling out of his hiding spot, my heart dropped and I became very flushed. I pulled over to the shoulder, put on my hazards, and just kinda sat there. I rolled down my window, which was really awkward because the trooper went to my passenger side. Oops.

"Ma'am, I pulled you over for speeding, ya know that huh?"

"Yes sir, but I HAD TO PISS MY PANTS!" *cue crying* "THIS IS MY FIRST TICKET SIR. I'M SO SCARED."

"License and insurance please." He wasn't having it.

Um, excuse me, I thought I just cried and told you my puny excuse?? Also, I thought they are supposed to say "license and REGISTRATION" but noooo. He's gotta fancy it all up and ask me for my insurance. Is it bad that I had to ask him what that looks like?

The officer took my information, probably sold it on the black market, and came back with a piece of paper.

"Okay so here is your ticket. I put you in the first offenders program, and I also said you were going 75 mph instead of 80."

"Soooo what you're saying is, this is a warning?"

"Ha no, this is a ticket. Be prepared to pay upwards of $300. Also, there's a rest stop on your right in 5 miles. Slow down and be safe."

UGH. WHY.

Man, I thought I had it in the bag. I thought the police would let me go without a ticket - just a warning. I played the whole bit, crying and blubbering too. Yeah, that's right, I cried. I cried for no reason though, because apparently the cop didn't have any sympathy for me.

Whoever said cops favor young blonde chics was WRONG. I guess going 80 mph in a 65 speed zone is unacceptable. But what if I had to pee? Maybe I should carry fart spray in my car, spray that bad boy before I roll down my window, and tell them I have to shit real bad. Or, I could just follow the speed limit.

It's not my fault I was born with a heavy foot. Hehe.

Also, there were literally three cop cars scattered on the highway in Arkansas. I think that's all they do all day. Maybe I gave the cop a rush of excitement, because nothing exciting ever happens in AR.

But seriously guys, speeding is not worth a ticket. Trust me, I have to pay around $300. Please let my experience be a lesson to you. Save your money, and embarrassment.