Look Back On Your Past As Lessons, Not Regrets

Every now and then, I like to look back on the events that I've gone through in the past years. Who I've dated, who I became friends with, who I stopped being friends with, the jobs I worked, the jobs I left, and more. When I speak to people of doing this, they usually give the same response:

"I don't do that because it usually fills me with regret."

But what is it that you regret?

Do you regret learning something new? Every time anything bad happens to me, after doing some brief moment of being upset, I like to think about what I learned from it. This time last year I left my ex-boyfriend. He was a childhood best friend and even though the relationship wasn't right for a number of reasons, I didn't/still don't regret dating him. The time we were together taught me what I really needed in a guy. It taught me not to jump into a relationship with someone just because I think I know them.

I've also distanced myself from quite a few of my friends. I got to a point in my life where, as much as I still cared for them, I was doing more harm than good being close with them. I found myself unable to be myself and unhappy. Those friends were great, we shared many laughs and many tears together and I would never wish anything bad on them.

I still to this day, wish nothing but the best for them. I hope they're fulfilling their dreams that they shared with me and if they aren't pursuing those anymore, I hope they found new ones. I don't regret being friends with them, they helped shape me into who I am today.

I've made a lot of "bad" decisions over the years. I can admit that they weren't my brightest or best moments, but I refuse to say I regret making them. I would never say "I wish I could go back in time and stop it from happening."

I'm at a point in my life where I'm genuinely happy. I'm with an amazing guy, who still has me swooning head over heels in love with him with every kiss. I've both decreased and increased my friend group, I've met people that I can stay up till 3 a.m. with and just laugh at nothing at all. I'm back to pursuing my degree, I have a full-time job doing something I love.

Without going through the dark times, I never could've gotten to where I am now.

Being ashamed of your past doesn't do anything but halt your future. You need accept the bad/not so great decisions you made, and realize that they shaped you into who you are today. And anything you're going through now, is helping shape you for your future tomorrow.

Don't regret the past because it wasn't "perfect."

Love your past because it was imperfect.

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