I have debated about writing this article for a long time and the only thing that kept me from doing so was worrying about what people would think upon reading. Here is a prime example of people pleasing, a strain that I, along with many others, have inherited. The need to pacify everyone and make sure everyone's feelings rank above your own. Who else has this problem?

Now, I feel it is necessary to state that I still value compromise and consideration of other people's feelings, as you should also. But here are a couple things that you don't owe anyone, ever, at all...

1. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this because (fill in the blank)."

"I feel this way, because (x,y,z)."

People pleasers are constantly explaining themselves. We try to make the person on the receiving end of our conversations understand our thought patterns perfectly. Hello, the only ones we have to be able to explain ourselves to is OURSELVES. The other person just doesn't undertstand? At least you do. You know why, you know for what reason, now know that is all you need. Quit exhausting yourself by explaining every little detail.

2. You don't owe anyone the power to decide how YOU feel about a situation.

Have you ever been told you're overreacting or that you shouldn't let this or that bother you so much? That's false. You have every right to feel how you feel. You have every right to take awhile to decide how you feel. You have every right to change how you feel. Those feelings are yours and they matter as much as the next guy's do.

3. You don't owe anyone yourself.

This one is pretty straightforward. If a situation causes anxiety, causes you to act a way you don't want to act, causes you to bend your morals, makes you feel like less or give away a piece of yourself, then RUN. Run far and run fast, because you don't have to compromise the person you have worked so hard to become for any other person. Nor should you.

4. You don't owe anyone a trait that they haven't shown you in return.

A slippery slope for the people pleasers, but a true one nonetheless. Keep in mind –always show grace. Be graceful to those who haven't been to you and smile in spite of their wrong doings. BUT don't continuously crank out kindness, loyalty, time, and energy when you aren't met with even a little bit in return. There's a difference between being the bigger person and knowing when to walk away (although it is a fine line to walk).

Once you make all of these discoveries, you will be filled inside. In turn you'll be able to do for those who DESERVE your valuable time and your amazing personality and also do for you. You cannot pour from an empty cup. You cannot be a friend where someone has not been a friend to you. You cannot give and give to someone who only knows how to take, abuse, and use. You don't owe anyone a thing.