Relationships are tough. In reality, the first one you make is probably with your biological mother. Being in the womb for nine months really makes for a strong bond. But, for the sake of this article, lets fast forward a couple of years, like 18 years.
Picture this: you are a freshman in college, and you meet a special someone who puts a huge smile on your face whenever they text you. Their presence is always depicted as a ray of sunshine in your eyes and all is well. Up until...
1. You have feelings for someone else
2. Their presence isn't a ray of sunshine so much as a cloudy day
3. They become someone different
4. Your friends notice you've changed for the worst
5. You psychologically, mentally, physiologically, and physically are not okay.
All in all, something is wrong. You have to break up with them.
The worst part is that you feel like you owe them a relationship. In fact, they've brought you gifts, spent time with you, listened to your problems, have seen you at your best and worst.
Newsflash people: YOU DON'T OWE ANYONE ANYTHING
Now, the hard part is saying the words "I'm breaking up with you." Media makes this look easy. Just say it, right? Wrong. I've been through a lot of tough stuff in my life and I've said things I really didn't want to. But this phrase is probably in my top five. Obviously, you've had some impact on this person, so those five words don't come too easy when you know you, ideally, never will hear from them again. But this is what you want, so why is it so tough.
I decided to look it up. I saw a lot of reasons, but to sum it up here are three.
1. You will feel lonely
2. You have committed to being with this person for a length of time, breaking up will not only hurt on a cognitive level but an emotional one as well
3. Heartbreak can physically hurt
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So what does happen when you cut ties with your ex-SO?
From prior knowledge and brief research, I have come to a conclusion that emotionally, one can feel guilty, sad, lonely, angry, or even depressed. Physically, anything from headaches and migraines to joint pain, any of it is possible in the process of breaking up. Cognitively, we tend to self-reflect, thinking what we could have done to make this work. Physiologically, heart rate can be common with intense feelings of guilt.
Basically, what I'm trying to say is that whatever feelings you have before, during, and after a breakup; no matter who is breaking up with who, your feelings are valid. Just because it was the right thing for you to do, doesn't mean you have to be happy about it once it happens. Take it from someone who has been there before, you will survive. I promise. Just inhale, exhale, and let go of that guilt.