Loving Yourself Doesn't Have To Stem From Being Single

You Don't Have To Be Single To Learn How To Love Yourself

Having a significant other can help you get one step further to self-love.

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Being single is never something to be ashamed of. There is no reason for a man or a woman to feel like they need a significant other to be happy with their life. But, if you do feel like having a S.O. would benefit you and your happiness, there is nothing wrong with that.

I am so used to hearing things like, "In order for someone else to love you, you must love yourself first," and "Self-love is the best love." I mean, of COURSE, self-love is the best love. Loving yourself and all your quirks are so crucial to living a fulfilling life, but I don't think you need to be single to figure out how to love the person that you are.

These quotes about being single and finding self-love have become so mainstream. It's not wrong if you're still trying to figure out who you are and you're in a relationship. People say that being single is a crucial part of your life that everyone needs to experience, but that's not always true.

I've been single for a while now, and I've learned that there are things I can't change about myself and that I should be valued as a person. Despite all of this, I feel like I'm never fully loving who I am 100% of the time. There are good days and bad days. Some days, I find myself wishing I could be more like someone else or change some of the things about myself I'm not too crazy about.

Having a significant other who loves me for exactly who I am can help me in learning to love myself. There are still parts of me that I feel like I'll always want to change, and sometimes it can be extremely difficult to see why those things are important in figuring out who I am.

I know what I deserve out of a relationship, and I know I can't fully rely on someone else to find my own inner happiness, but having someone there to make those bad days better can help me get closer to that happiness I'm looking for. Having a person there to remind me of all the things I should love about myself is something I feel is missing from my life.

I know that the typical way to finding self-love is through exploring your life and the world on your own, and I know that it can be deeply ingrained in our minds that we need to be confident in who we are in order to be ready for a relationship. But it's also okay to explore life with someone right by your side.

If you're single and loving it, that's okay. But if you're single and searching for that S.O. to help you love who you are, that's totally okay as well. Being single can really suck sometimes, but I'll continue searching until I find that person who wants to love me for me. I strongly believe that person will help me learn to love myself for who I am as well.

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Saying Goodbye To Freshman Year

"High School goes by fast, but college goes by even faster."
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“High School goes by fast, but college goes by even faster”, we’ve all heard it and probably all ignored it as well. I mean time is time. It moves at the same pace no matter what you’re doing right?

Nope.

High School is over, I’m now a freshman in college and it’s April. I’m sitting here in my dorm looking at all my clothes, and bins thinking, how in the hell will this all fit in my car again? It is crazy, I need to be thinking about all of this now because there is one month of my freshman year left, just one.

All I can keep thinking is how? Wasn’t it just last week that I moved into my cozy room at the end of the hall, or just yesterday that I ran home to two hundred beautiful new sisters? As much as it seems like yesterday, it wasn’t.

It was almost eight months ago that I stepped onto this campus as a freshman, now it is my last four weeks and they are jam-packed. From formal to finals I am in the home stretch of my first year of college. I just registered for my classes next semester, and can’t get it through my head that I will soon be a sophomore.

While walking around campus I still catch myself thinking, wow I am really here. I am a college student, at a school, I fall more in love with every day. So, how can I be a sophomore now when I feel like I just got here?

Yes, I still have three amazing years of college ahead of me, and I can’t wait to see what those years have in store in for me. But, I just can’t help but feel a little sad that I won’t be a freshman anymore. I won’t be the youngest in my sorority family, I won’t be coming back to a dorm every night.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am stoked to live in an apartment next year with my absolute best friends. And you definitely could have heard me saying “I am so over this whole dorm thing” once or twice this semester, but now I can’t help but see all the things I’ll miss.

Freshman year is just unique. You get this giant clean slate, a fresh start. And it is just waiting to see what you’ll do with it. It truly is a year of firsts. My first failure, the first time being on my own, my first time not knowing anyone in my classes. Yes, that can all be a lot to take on, I was terrified at the start of the school year. But before I knew it, I had a routine, I had friends, I had a life here.

And this life surpassed all my expectations. I have a home away from home. I have friends that I know will be my bridesmaids some day. I have experiences that I’ll never forget.

Now as I head back home for the summer I couldn’t be more excited to be with my friends there and my family. But, I also couldn’t be sadder to leave my friends here, even if it’s only for three months because they’ve become another kind of family.

Despite leaving freshman year behind, we have so many more memories to make whether it’s doing the Seminole chop in Doak, coordinating our Halloween costumes, or just chilling at the house. We’ve all come so far this year, and I can’t wait to see just how far we go. So bring it on Sophomore year, I’m ready for ya.

Cover Image Credit: Cameron Kira

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Being Ugly

What it means to me

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Due to a series of ongoing events throughout my semester, I've reconsidered what it means for someone to truly be ugly. Though it is often used in terms of appearance, I do not see it as such-- now more than ever. Ugliness runs deeper than appearance-- it runs within one's soul and festers into other areas of one's life, particularly in their treatment of others.

I view ugliness as someone's conscious capacity and implementation of malice. Taking time and energy out of your day to hurt someone else, that's what I view as ugly. Some offenses are more minor than others, however, it is still a conscious effort to hurt or affect someone else negatively-- and that's the source of the problem. I truly wonder what causes that sort of behavior in someone, as I, along with most people, simply do not invest time or energy into hating or plotting against others. It seems like a full-time job.

I can theorize all sorts of reasons as to why someone would act this way: hate, jealousy, vengeance, etc. Yet, all of these reasons don't hit the root reason. It almost seems that some people are just innately ugly in their soul. This alludes to the timeless debate of whether one's personality is due to nature or nurture. Again, although our surroundings and environment do have a large effect in our behavior, that alibi only goes so far when multiple people are placed in the same environment, in the same situation, and only some are willing to cross moral boundaries in order to hurt the others. Just because an environment applies pressure to people, does not mean everyone is going to act out in malice, and it certainly does not give everyone an excuse to do so. Some people are simply conniving and, well, ugly inside.

If you have ever encountered people like this, I know from personal experience that it is such a drag. You have an enemy, essentially, whether you chose to or not, however based on their hatred towards you, they are now considered an enemy, a hater, and any other associated term. Know that they will do anything in their power to bring you down, even if it requires bending the truth and creating elaborate schemes, but you have to keep on doing you. Let them obsess over ways to bring you down. At the end of the day, their time and energy is being invested into bringing you down, while yours is being used to build yourself up. They will fall by default. So, keep your head high, act in grace, and make your money. They can sip on their Haterade and watch from below.

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