When I first met you, you were nothing more than a face. Six months later, you were the only face I could find in a crowded room. But these days you are just a face that is faded in a Polaroid that I keep in a box underneath my bed, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
There used to be a time that I thought I would never be able to live without you. I used to let you control my life. I let you get under my skin and course through my veins like some sort of virus. Thinking about how much I used to love you and how much I used to want you to love me still makes my stomach feel uneasy.
The thing is, I don't think about you much anymore but you used to be all I thought about. I was consumed with the idea of ending up with you. I was sure that eventually you would come to your senses about me. I just wanted you to realize I cared for you to an extent that was probably unhealthy because deep down I knew you did not care about me at all.
Missing you came in waves, sometimes I wanted to call you and other times I forgot about you all together. As time went on and we both were settling into new dispositions, new apartments and new lives I slowly started to forget about you. You were fading away just like that polaroid under my bed, and I thought it would stay like that forever.
The universe works in funny ways though. It was my sister's birthday, and your dad's. We ended up in the same restaurant, in the same city, at the same damn time. After almost a year of not speaking to or seeing each other, after I realized I had no intentions of thinking about you anymore, there you are - sitting right in front of me, looking exactly the way you did the last time I got out of your car. How was I supposed to believe that was just a coincidence and not the universe wanting to show me how okay I was without him? Because I am okay, more than okay in fact.
I don't miss you anymore and I truthfully could not say that until I knew what it felt like to see you again. I wasn't wishing that you were sitting at my table or that I was sitting at yours. I don't miss you anymore and I'm thankful that the universe gave me the chance to see that.