I got slapped in the face by a huge fish called “reality" my senior year of high school.

I thought I knew a lot of things. I thought I knew I wanted to go into neuroscience, I thought I knew I wanted to be a surgeon, I thought I knew I wanted to be in the medical field. In our society, it's either be a doctor or be some kind of Hollywood celebrity. Other than that, you may as well throw away all dreams of ever being financially stable and actually amounting to anything, right?

Absolutely not.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to say I was on the pre-med track, dreaming to work in Mayo Clinic still. That's truly all I wanted for probably five years of my life. If you had asked me, though, what it is I really wanted to do, I would have said I wanted to travel the world. While that's still what I really dream about, I had to think more about if the career I had chosen was really right for me. (Hint: it wasn't.)

I entered college with two good friends (they are now two best friends), and we all had very similar aspirations. All of us were in neuroscience and wanted to be some sort of doctor or researcher. Funnily enough, that isn't what any of us are going to do now.

There was a lot of pressure that I put on myself to follow through with what I had dreamed about for so long. I wanted to make a difference in the lives of thousands, make a huge breakthrough with my research, be comfortable financially for the first time. Not to mention, I had told so. Many. People.

If you're anything like me, your pride can get in the way of things like dreams and security.

During my senior year of high school, I took multiple medical classes and even got to shadow in a hospital. While I learned a lot, had a genuine interest in what we were learning, and had such a great experience, I was missing that aspect of enjoyment that I knew I wanted. The classic saying "Enjoy what you do and you'll never work a day in your life" was not very present in my life. I decided a while before I graduated that I definitely did not want to be a doctor anymore. It just was not the lifestyle suited for me.

Some people have the perfect knack for that kind of thing, but it isn't where my strengths shine through. I transitioned to wanting to just be in neuroscience, but off of the pre-med track. I then wanted to work as a researcher. It was sort of confusing because I did not necessarily want to be in a lab all day every day and I seriously hated chemistry. But, everything is possible if you put your mind to it, right?

So, I entered my first year of college, ready to become a neuroscientist and so, so, so painfully naive. I don't hate neuroscience. I actually still love it so much. I think it is one of the most interesting sciences there is. I did, however, hate chemistry. And I hated calculus. With the impending doom of the realization that I really didn't want to be in science anymore, I was faced with an existential crisis.

If I wasn't going to go into medicine or science at all, I may as well have dropped out.

The idea of psychology was in the back of my mind, but I knew I didn't want to go into counseling or into social work. However, to my knowledge, that was all I could do unless I decided to stay in scientific research. Soon enough, with a push from my friends and family, I reluctantly changed my major from a dual major in psychology and neuroscience to a major in psychology. Within a few months, I added three minors, French, criminology, and sociology.

Even if I am not 100% sure what I am going to do with my life, I guarantee I am a lot happier and a lot more positive of my future than I was before.

Even if days pass by like a kidney stone, I am still more determined than ever to love my life. Sometimes all it takes is a leap of faith. If I had never made the difficult decision of doing what I wanted to do for a career instead of what I felt like I was obligated to do, I am not convinced I would be happy with how far I have come and would be dreading the future.

If you're reading this looking for hope that it will be alright, I hope I have shown you how rewarding and refreshing it is to finally do what you are truly called to. I have a brighter outlook on life now that I'm not forcing ideals down my own throat.