I Don't Have My Life Together

I Don't Have My Life Together

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That’s right. I am 19 years old and I don’t know what I am having for dinner tonight much less what I am doing with the rest of my life. This bothers me though. I constantly feel like what I am doing is not enough and that I have to be searching for more.

The unknown is scary. I will be the first to admit that. I am the type who likes everything perfectly planned out and when the plan doesn’t work I get frustrated. I am not the live in the moment, spontaneous and impulsive type. You won’t catch me making a last-second decision for a road trip and scrambling to pack because my bags have already been packed for a week prior to the trip.

I am only going into my sophomore year of college, I have time to relax and let things be. If I stay up all night worrying about what I am doing this weekend, next summer, what class I am taking in the fall semester of 2018, firstly, I will be extremely tired the next day, but secondly I will be wasting my life away. Worrying is really just useless.

When I was little my mom always read me the book "Wemberly Worried." It was about a little mouse named Wemberly that, you guessed it, always worried. She worried whether the crack in the wall would get bigger, she worried if the tree would fall on her house, and she worried about school. She was terrified that she wouldn’t make friends. Then she met her friend Jewel and played all morning with her. She began to worry less than usual and eventually not worry at all. Call me crazy for thinking so deep into a children’s book, but Wemberly stopped worrying and started living.

If all I ever did was plan and worry about the future, my present will soon be the past, and I will look back on all the times that I should’ve, could’ve, and would’ve and not the times that I did. Each day that we are given on this Earth is a chance for a new adventure, a new memory. It is true that I may not know how I will get to my dreams, but I will get there one day.

As cliché as it sounds, today is the first day of the rest of my life. And it is for you too. Live for today. As Will Traynor says, “You only have one life and it is actually your duty live it as fully as possible.” If you don’t have your life together right now, don’t worry. Eventually things will all play out as it should. But for now, stop worrying about the crack in the wall or the deadline at the end of the week. You will get it done. Just don’t forget to find a joy in each day and live the life that you have because you only get one.

Cover Image Credit: The Life of The Spirit

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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We Are More Than Categories And It's High Time We Stop Letting Online Personality Tests Define Us

Why are we letting online personality test define our greatest faults?

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Obsession. This is the best word that can be used to describe the era of online personality tests. Between "Meyers Briggs" and the oh so popular "Enneagram Test," the nation has become obsessed with primary numbers, wing numbers, personality codes, and "personal" descriptions. People are writing books, recording podcasts, sharing articles, and using up air time on anything and everything related to personality tests.

Which celebrity are you most like? What type of person do you want on your team? The search results are endless.

I can not even begin to count the number of times I have heard, "oh you must be a _____ (insert Enneagram number here)!" or "What is your Meyers Briggs? That makes total sense for you." What can be wrong with these online tests? We're learning about ourselves and how to relate and work with one another, aren't we?

Well... sort of. These online personality tests provide faults as well as strengths. They put people into categories based on what they struggle with the most — and we are taking those faults to heart.

The "Enneagram Test" breaks the world into 9 types of people. These 9 topics are 1. The Reformer, 2. The Helper, 3. The Achiever 4. The Individualist, 5. The Investigator, 6. The Loyalist, 7. The Enthusiast, 8. The Challenger, and 9. The Peacemaker. Once you receive your number you also are assigned a "wing" number or the number you are closest to ex: 3 Wing 2 means that you are considered to be a part of "The Achiever" group but lean toward "The Helper."

When you receive your results, you also get a ton of information pretty much breaking down exactly who you are, what you're great at, and what you struggle with. While I do recognize that some of this information can be helpful, it is even more important to remember that everyone is different and just because your test results say you have trouble committing does not mean that you're going to struggle in every future relationship.

These results are molds. They are meant to be used to aid in self-evaluation, not to determine exactly how you view yourself.

Like anything else, the obsession with personality tests will fade, but until then, we should be paying attention to the benefits of personality tests rather than the dangers. Spending 3 hours reading about why your type is doomed to fail is not going to help you with anything. Use your results to appreciate the things you're really good at. Use your results to improve your team skills.

But for the love of God, please do not obsess over every small personality detail. The world is made of individual people who are all very different from one another. There is no reason to stick yourself in a category that you feel like you can't change.

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