My entire life consists of different relationships where I was tested on whether or not I knew what I deserved. Each relationship I had was long enough for the word "comfortable" to make it's appearance quite frequently, and at the time I didn't fear it like I do now.
I thought comfortable was good-and to an extent it is. I want to be able to be myself around the man I love, but when myself starts to get intertwined with the word comfortable a little too much, I start to worry.
I don't want a relationship where it's always comfortable-maybe that makes me slightly crazy, but I enjoy knowing someone will never stop giving some form of effort to bring light to an occasionally too cozy relationship.
If I'm being even more honest, "comfort" has started to scare me a bit. Thinking back to my past relationships, I know the word caused tension that resulted in someone leaving, or another one getting too tired of the same old thing-every damn time.
When you're laying there on the couch, feeling extra cozy, it's often we get tired. It's just normal, and I'm sure everyone does it. It's a place where you relax, and find
comfort in just laying there doing absolutely nothing.
If you apply that same logic to relationships, you'll find it's actually not too different. When we get really comfortable, we grow tired. Tired of trying to impress the person we've been with for so long because we feel like we deserve to have them right there by our sides.
The truth is, nothing in life will be yours consistently, just because you feel you once worked so hard for it. Do you expect to keep a really good looking body by never working out again or eating right? Do you think you'll maintain that second language you know so well without practicing it from time to time? No, we don't get the privilege of keeping things without occasionally putting work into it.
It's even more important when it comes to a relationship with another person because your taking into account someone else's feelings. If you forget how to play the piano because you haven't practiced in months, the piano won't feel upset because of that. The piano can't up and leave you, but a person could.
The minute you start to get too comfortable could completely alter the feelings another person may have towards you. For that reason alone, I have a serious fear of losing someone because-absentmindedly-I became way too comfortable.
I understand there will come a point in your relationship with someone else where things aren't as difficult anymore. You know what makes them mad, so you avoid pressing buttons you may have once pushed for a rise. You understand things about them that goes without saying, so you don't bother asking anymore. Some things are easier than they once were and that's okay. That doesn't mean you ever have to stop caring. I know butterflies won't constantly make an appearance when he kisses you goodbye. I understand sometimes at night after working all day, cleaning, making dinner, and paying bills-you may just practically fall into a deep sleep that not even his cuddles or kisses could wake you from.
This. Doesn't. Mean. You. Should. Get. Too. Comfortable.
There are ways around getting too comfortable.
Reinvent an old date. Make his/her favorite dinner when they're least expecting it-just because. Point out something about them that all these years/months/days later you still love. It's not that hard to occasionally avoid comfort.
Do you think if everyone did this, it could save a relationship? I mean, had I done this before in my past relationships, could it have benefited? Or did something in me say--"Don't avoid comfort, he's not right for you?"
Maybe some of us go right towards comfort because that's what we want. We don't want to start over in something and feel those knots in your stomach day in and day out.
I think the day that you realize comfort is the only option for you, is the day you should realize you don't care for your significant other the way you should. If you still don't do things to see your partner smile or surprise them on a Monday just because, maybe it's not love.
Don't get too comfortable with a good girlfriend/boyfriend because you genuinely never know when they'll want to just walk away from not feeling appreciated.The worst thing you could do is start to take advantage of someone/something that you feel has become the norm.
Nothing and no one is permanent. Everyone has the opportunity to walk away, it's up to you to give them a reason to want to stay.