There's so much to be addressed and I am ready to let it all out on this topic ladies. I believe it's time to correct ourselves before we move forward with someone else. The headline explains a lot of things by itself because we know that we are guilty of chasing after someone who doesn't want us how we want them. It's time for some DAMAGE CONTROL!

First and foremost, we must stop allowing ourselves to settle for less. What I mean by that is, we need to stop trying to prove ourselves and worthiness to someone. No one should have to prove that they are "anything" to someone for a relationship to start. Sending "good morning" to someone and you don't care to do it but you're doing it to just keep their attention; please stop. We are all worthy and have something special to offer to someone, even if it is not for the person you want it to be for. No more subjecting ourselves in 2019.


Next, there's more where that came from, right? Although you have butterflies for a specific person, that does not mean you need to put all your eggs in one basket. Going after someone that's not interested in you is a waste of time. There's always another person who can bring more to the table or who can deliver what you need. Okay, you can't control your feelings and I understand that, but you can control who you give your space, time and energy too. If it's not reciprocated, why continue to give energy to a dying situation?

Never put all your eggs in one basket.

Let's quit the theatrics. Ladies, it's time to cut it out and give these guys the respect that they deserve in this aspect: you are CHOOSING to chase after someone who doesn't want you, instead of the guy that's CHOOSING to chase you. Funny how things work. Just because you feel as though the guy who likes you isn't enough, he just may be. If he's giving you affection, time, energy, loyalty and honesty, then he's a great candidate to put these same elements back into. The guy that you want, does he hold any value for you? Sexual tension should not be the only thing in the picture nor that he's a nice guy. What standards does he have? What standards do you have? How can you both build with each other? How can you both reach personal goals and achievements while committing to being in a relationship with each other? There are many factors that play a part in why you want this guy and what IS he bringing to the table.

What can they bring to the table?

As I began listing questions to give food for thought, I had an epiphany. One of our biggest flaws, ladies, is that we don't listen. Most men are open and can express what they want out of an encounter with you. Either it's to pursue more, have sex, or quite frankly, they just do not know. Men are simple, we just don't want to take the boost down on our confidence and rejection. If a man wants to be with you, he will be with you. There's no doubt about that. Women need to listen and hear what these men are saying to them.

If he doesn't want to be with you, that's how he feels and he has his reasons, I promise. We put expectations and hope into a situation without analyzing what needs to be analyzed, which is what are the intentions before things get too deep. Not only do we out expectations into a situation, we put expectations on a guy that we like and begin to want, physically, emotionally, intellectually, or mentally, but that's not the case for him. He isn't interested and we have to respect that he isn't interested in being in a relationship or taking things to the next level, whatever the next level may be.

Open your ears and listen to him.

This may seem harsh, but it's the ugly truth and I know that my women reading this can attest that we are guilty of something that I've explained in this article. Re-evaluate everything. If he isn't creating time to spend time with you or it's been MONTHS (six plus) and he hasn't made any type of acknowledgment to take things to the next level, then that's your job to ask where are things going or to just give up, especially if he's told you he's not interested in pursuing anything with you.

Give the guy who makes all the time in the world for you a chance. The guy who checks on you, believes in you, supports you and EFFORTLESSLY is everything that you need should be in the rankings. He sees potential in you and everything you could be and what you are in his eyes. Let him be the good man that he wants to be. DAMAGE CONTROL is tough, but it's needed to bring the realizations of what needs to be done, in order to move forward with situations and life.

Be mindful. He may be more than you think.