Why Do We Like Guys Who Don't Like Us Back?

To The Girls That Go After Guys Not Interested In Them, Don’t You Want Someone Who Wants You Back?

If it's not reciprocated, why continue to give energy to a dying situation?

JBoyd
JBoyd
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There's so much to be addressed and I am ready to let it all out on this topic ladies. I believe it's time to correct ourselves before we move forward with someone else. The headline explains a lot of things by itself because we know that we are guilty of chasing after someone who doesn't want us how we want them. It's time for some DAMAGE CONTROL!

First and foremost, we must stop allowing ourselves to settle for less. What I mean by that is, we need to stop trying to prove ourselves and worthiness to someone. No one should have to prove that they are "anything" to someone for a relationship to start. Sending "good morning" to someone and you don't care to do it but you're doing it to just keep their attention; please stop. We are all worthy and have something special to offer to someone, even if it is not for the person you want it to be for. No more subjecting ourselves in 2019.

NEVER SETTLE. https://unsplash.com/photos/kBJEJqWNtNY

Next, there's more where that came from, right? Although you have butterflies for a specific person, that does not mean you need to put all your eggs in one basket. Going after someone that's not interested in you is a waste of time. There's always another person who can bring more to the table or who can deliver what you need. Okay, you can't control your feelings and I understand that, but you can control who you give your space, time and energy too. If it's not reciprocated, why continue to give energy to a dying situation?


Never put all your eggs in one basket. https://unsplash.com/photos/43o1KVbOWXA

Let's quit the theatrics. Ladies, it's time to cut it out and give these guys the respect that they deserve in this aspect: you are CHOOSING to chase after someone who doesn't want you, instead of the guy that's CHOOSING to chase you. Funny how things work. Just because you feel as though the guy who likes you isn't enough, he just may be. If he's giving you affection, time, energy, loyalty and honesty, then he's a great candidate to put these same elements back into. The guy that you want, does he hold any value for you? Sexual tension should not be the only thing in the picture nor that he's a nice guy. What standards does he have? What standards do you have? How can you both build with each other? How can you both reach personal goals and achievements while committing to being in a relationship with each other? There are many factors that play a part in why you want this guy and what IS he bringing to the table.

What can they bring to the table?https://unsplash.com/photos/0BhSKStVtdM

As I began listing questions to give food for thought, I had an epiphany. One of our biggest flaws, ladies, is that we don't listen. Most men are open and can express what they want out of an encounter with you. Either it's to pursue more, have sex, or quite frankly, they just do not know. Men are simple, we just don't want to take the boost down on our confidence and rejection. If a man wants to be with you, he will be with you. There's no doubt about that. Women need to listen and hear what these men are saying to them.

If he doesn't want to be with you, that's how he feels and he has his reasons, I promise. We put expectations and hope into a situation without analyzing what needs to be analyzed, which is what are the intentions before things get too deep. Not only do we out expectations into a situation, we put expectations on a guy that we like and begin to want, physically, emotionally, intellectually, or mentally, but that's not the case for him. He isn't interested and we have to respect that he isn't interested in being in a relationship or taking things to the next level, whatever the next level may be.


Open your ears and listen to him. https://unsplash.com/photos/SIZ66vF4FKA

This may seem harsh, but it's the ugly truth and I know that my women reading this can attest that we are guilty of something that I've explained in this article. Re-evaluate everything. If he isn't creating time to spend time with you or it's been MONTHS (six plus) and he hasn't made any type of acknowledgment to take things to the next level, then that's your job to ask where are things going or to just give up, especially if he's told you he's not interested in pursuing anything with you.

Give the guy who makes all the time in the world for you a chance. The guy who checks on you, believes in you, supports you and EFFORTLESSLY is everything that you need should be in the rankings. He sees potential in you and everything you could be and what you are in his eyes. Let him be the good man that he wants to be. DAMAGE CONTROL is tough, but it's needed to bring the realizations of what needs to be done, in order to move forward with situations and life.


Be mindful. He may be more than you think. https://unsplash.com/photos/DFtjXYd5Pto

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PSA: Keep Your Body-Negative Opinions Away From Little Girls This Summer

But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with.

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It's officially swimsuit season, y'all.

The temperature is rising, the sun is bright and shining, and a trip to the beach couldn't look more appealing than it does right now. This is the time of year that many of us have been rather impatiently waiting for. It's also the time of year that a lot of us feel our most self-conscious.

I could take the time to remind you that every body is a bikini body. I could type out how everyone is stunning in their own unique way and that no one should feel the need to conform to a certain standard of beauty to feel beautiful, male or female. I could sit here and tell you that the measurement of your waistline is not a reflection of your worth. I completely believe every single one of these things.

Hell, I've shared these exact thoughts more times than I can count. This time around, however, I'm not going to say all these things. Instead, I'm begging you to push your insecurities to the side and fake some confidence in yourself when you're in front of others.

Why?

Because our negative self-image is toxic and contagious and we're spreading this negative thinking on to others.

We're all guilty of this, we're with family or a friend and we make a nasty comment about some aspect of our appearance, not even giving a single thought to the impact our words have on the person with us. You might think that it shouldn't bother them- after all, we're not saying anything bad about them! We're just expressing our feelings about something we dislike about ourselves. While I agree that having conversations about our insecurities and feelings are important for our mental and emotional health, there is a proper and improper way of doing it. An open conversation can leave room for growth, acceptance, understanding, and healing. Making a rude or disheartening remark about yourself is destructive not only to yourself, but it will make the person you are saying these things around question their own self worth or body image by comparing themselves to you.

My little sister thinks she's "fat." She doesn't like how she looks. To use her own words, she thinks she's "too chubby" and that she "looks bad in everything."

She's 12 years old.

Do you want to know why she has this mindset? As her older sister, I failed in leading her by example. There were plenty of times when I was slightly younger, less sure of myself, and far more self-conscious than I am now, that I would look in the mirror and say that I looked too chubby, that my body didn't look good enough, that I wished I could change the size of my legs or stomach.

My little sister had to see the older sibling she looks up to, the big sis she thinks always looks beautiful, say awful and untrue things about herself because her own sense of body image was warped by media, puberty, and comparing herself to others.

My negativity rubbed off onto her and shaped how she looks at herself. I can just imagine her watching me fret over how I look thinking, "If she thinks she's too big, what does that make me?"

It makes me feel sick.

All of us are dealing with our own insecurities. It takes some of us longer than others to view ourselves in a positive, loving light. We're all working on ourselves every day, whether it be mentally, physically, or emotionally. But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with, our struggles and insecurities should not form into their own burdens.

Work on yourself in private. Speak kindly of yourself in front of others. Let your positivity, real or not, spread to others instead of the bad feelings we have a bad habit of letting loose.

The little girls of the world don't need your or my negative self-image this summer. Another kid doesn't need to feel worthless because we couldn't be a little more loving to ourselves and a lot more conscious of what we say out loud.

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10 Quotes That Will Help You Realize Your Self-Worth

Sometimes you need a little pick me up and that's okay because I'm pretty sure it happens to everyone. When I need a pick me up, I tend to look over quotes that help with either giving me an ego boost or reminding me to keep working.

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These 10 quotes are from a notes page that I keep on my phone with a list of over 100 quotes. I keep quotes on my phone to give me reminders, advice, or even some motivation. I specifically chose these ten quotes to help anyone remind themselves to never give up and to know your self-worth, which is priceless.

1. "Hold yourself to a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Never excuse yourself."

This quote reminds me to only focus on what I think about myself and to continue bettering myself. The part of the quote that states, "never excuse yourself" really illuminates how there is always room for improvement in every aspect of your life. Never allow yourself to fall behind and to continue growing.

2. "I am left with no choice, but to create an empire from these ruins within me."

Anyone I am depressed (or heartbroken...), this quote reminds me you can only come up from rock bottom.

3. "If you're happy in yourself, you radiate happiness and attract happiness."

Any time I'm feeling down, I like to read this quote because it helps me work to getter better. The quote pushes me to get better because everything is much better and warmer when you're happy. Emotions soak in more, laughs are genuine, and happy tears become a reality.

4. "You don't need to be better than anyone else, you just need to be better than you used to be." -Wayne W. Dyer

Dyer's quote forces me to continue improving myself. I know this is similar to the first quote, but it helps even more because it reminds me to never forget where I came from.

5. "Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens." -Louise L. Hay

When I am feeling down about myself, Hay's quote helps me get out of the funk because I will only continue to spiral if I only focus on the negative.

6. "I am the flower and the thorns. I don't need you to touch me in order to blossom." -Haley Hendrick

Hendrick's quote gives me the confidence to be a strong independent young woman. I do not need a pity party to feel better about myself. I can cope and continue growing because rain is the only way flowers bloom.

7. "Be nice to yourself. It's hard to be happy when someone is being mean to you all the time."

If you continue to criticize yourself and only focus on your "flaws," you will never be able to be happy. I know it is harsh but if you don't love yourself, you won't be able to ever fully love anyone. Being kind and allowing yourself to grow is the best self-care. Take a break from whatever you're busy with at the time if you need to. Take a breath and focus on the reasons you love yourself and what all you have accomplished.

8. "I wanna make my parents proud, my enemies jealous, and myself satisfies."

This quote points you in the direction of self-growth because it allows you to remember there are never excuses for yourself. Growing up is a part of life, so is adaptation and evolution. You have to go with the flow and keep up with the times.

9. "Your body is not a temple..."

"Your body is not a temple. Temples can be destroyed and desecrated. Your body is a forest, thick canopies of maple trees and sweet wildflowers sprouting in the underwood. You will grow back, over and over, no matter how badly you are devastated."

Do not ever let anything keep your down, break through the ceiling if you have to. Keep pushing and working for whatever dreams you have.

10. "You don't have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life..."

"You don't ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn't matter whether someone is s relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance — you don't have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It's one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignored your boundaries, and "continues" to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go." — Daniell Koepke

Sometimes, you had to leave behind people you thought would be in your life forever because they're holding you back. Sometimes they just always bring negativity and make you feel bad about yourself. Sometimes people make cool jokes and don't understand how it isn't funny. These people are toxic and it is okay to remove them from your life. Keep growing but always remember what could have happened if you stayed behind.

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