To The Girls That Go After Guys Not Interested In Them, Don’t You Want Someone Who Wants You Back?

To The Girls That Go After Guys Not Interested In Them, Don’t You Want Someone Who Wants You Back?

If it's not reciprocated, why continue to give energy to a dying situation?

JBoyd
JBoyd
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There's so much to be addressed and I am ready to let it all out on this topic ladies. I believe it's time to correct ourselves before we move forward with someone else. The headline explains a lot of things by itself because we know that we are guilty of chasing after someone who doesn't want us how we want them. It's time for some DAMAGE CONTROL!

First and foremost, we must stop allowing ourselves to settle for less. What I mean by that is, we need to stop trying to prove ourselves and worthiness to someone. No one should have to prove that they are "anything" to someone for a relationship to start. Sending "good morning" to someone and you don't care to do it but you're doing it to just keep their attention; please stop. We are all worthy and have something special to offer to someone, even if it is not for the person you want it to be for. No more subjecting ourselves in 2019.

NEVER SETTLE. https://unsplash.com/photos/kBJEJqWNtNY

Next, there's more where that came from, right? Although you have butterflies for a specific person, that does not mean you need to put all your eggs in one basket. Going after someone that's not interested in you is a waste of time. There's always another person who can bring more to the table or who can deliver what you need. Okay, you can't control your feelings and I understand that, but you can control who you give your space, time and energy too. If it's not reciprocated, why continue to give energy to a dying situation?


Never put all your eggs in one basket. https://unsplash.com/photos/43o1KVbOWXA

Let's quit the theatrics. Ladies, it's time to cut it out and give these guys the respect that they deserve in this aspect: you are CHOOSING to chase after someone who doesn't want you, instead of the guy that's CHOOSING to chase you. Funny how things work. Just because you feel as though the guy who likes you isn't enough, he just may be. If he's giving you affection, time, energy, loyalty and honesty, then he's a great candidate to put these same elements back into. The guy that you want, does he hold any value for you? Sexual tension should not be the only thing in the picture nor that he's a nice guy. What standards does he have? What standards do you have? How can you both build with each other? How can you both reach personal goals and achievements while committing to being in a relationship with each other? There are many factors that play a part in why you want this guy and what IS he bringing to the table.

What can they bring to the table?https://unsplash.com/photos/0BhSKStVtdM

As I began listing questions to give food for thought, I had an epiphany. One of our biggest flaws, ladies, is that we don't listen. Most men are open and can express what they want out of an encounter with you. Either it's to pursue more, have sex, or quite frankly, they just do not know. Men are simple, we just don't want to take the boost down on our confidence and rejection. If a man wants to be with you, he will be with you. There's no doubt about that. Women need to listen and hear what these men are saying to them.

If he doesn't want to be with you, that's how he feels and he has his reasons, I promise. We put expectations and hope into a situation without analyzing what needs to be analyzed, which is what are the intentions before things get too deep. Not only do we out expectations into a situation, we put expectations on a guy that we like and begin to want, physically, emotionally, intellectually, or mentally, but that's not the case for him. He isn't interested and we have to respect that he isn't interested in being in a relationship or taking things to the next level, whatever the next level may be.


Open your ears and listen to him. https://unsplash.com/photos/SIZ66vF4FKA

This may seem harsh, but it's the ugly truth and I know that my women reading this can attest that we are guilty of something that I've explained in this article. Re-evaluate everything. If he isn't creating time to spend time with you or it's been MONTHS (six plus) and he hasn't made any type of acknowledgment to take things to the next level, then that's your job to ask where are things going or to just give up, especially if he's told you he's not interested in pursuing anything with you.

Give the guy who makes all the time in the world for you a chance. The guy who checks on you, believes in you, supports you and EFFORTLESSLY is everything that you need should be in the rankings. He sees potential in you and everything you could be and what you are in his eyes. Let him be the good man that he wants to be. DAMAGE CONTROL is tough, but it's needed to bring the realizations of what needs to be done, in order to move forward with situations and life.


Be mindful. He may be more than you think. https://unsplash.com/photos/DFtjXYd5Pto

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We Need To Normalize Not Dating In Teenage Years, It's Actually The Smarter Choice

It doesn't mean something's wrong with you. Quite the opposite.

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The title of this article may sound misleading, as if I'm saying teenagers shouldn't date, but that's not it at all. I'm saying people shouldn't have to feel weird, alone, or bad about themselves if they're young and still haven't been in a relationship yet. We shouldn't get strange looks for being 17, 18, 19 years old, and having yet to have a first kiss.

I'm 18 years old, a freshman in college, and have never been in a real, committed relationship. I've managed to avoid all the burden and heartbreak throughout all four years of high school. I never thought I was weird or incapable of attracting anyone. I never thought I was too immature to handle a relationship. I never posted those "I wish I was boo'd up" memes on my social media, letting everyone know I hated being single. And I never hated being single, period.

Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean I'm "anti-relationship" or whatever. Thinking relationships are nothing but setting yourself up for heartbreak, that true love isn't real, is a pessimistic outlook. I've had fun flings and been on dates, so in a way, I understand the gist of the positive side of relationships. So honestly, I'm excited for the day I finally tell a guy I'll be his girlfriend - it's just not something I'm prioritizing or want really bad. It's all about waiting until you meet the right one at the right time.

I know, I know, very cliché. You hear this idea everywhere, said by almost everyone, that you might even doubt the existence of "the one" or a "soulmate." It shouldn't be stigmatized as corny, but in fact, a mature and ideal mindset. The reason why I haven't been in a relationship is for a number of reasons - the timing was off, I couldn't tolerate long distance, and simply, no one sparked my interest in high school. Some things happen (or don't happen) for a reason.

Not everyone is meant to have their first boyfriend/girlfriend in middle school.

My point is, people should get into relationships when the timing is right and when they're ready. There shouldn't be an age limit or age expectations for this aspect of your life. Those who believe they should've already had a relationship by now or simply just hate being single tend to settle for less than they deserve, someone who doesn't fulfill all their relationship needs in a partner.

Embracing singleness during your teenage years doesn't mean accepting the fact that no one will fall in love with you and you'll be alone forever (which, by the way, is absolutely NOT true), it means to understand that it will happen when it's meant to happen.

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If You Need A Pep Talk, Remind Yourself Of These 9 Things Today

We all need a pep talk sometimes.

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My spirit animal for stress is honestly any character that just screams when they are freaking out, what a mood. College can have you feeling helpless but remember these and maybe you won't feel so bad.

1. At least you aren’t on TV

Think about it. Many TV characters royally screw up their lives continuously and I know when I watch, I am always cringing. Most of the time, I even have better solutions for that character and it makes me feel level-headed.

2. Even in sweats, you’re still best dressed

Some of the celebrities wear these crazy outfits that are not flattering or cute whatsoever. Wear your sweats and bare face with confidence, cause I would rather be dressed down than dressed in a giant meat suit. Love you though, Gaga.

3. If you’re forgetting things, it’s OK!

WE WERE ON A BREAK. Ross says it best, we had a month off of school, it’s only natural that we forget some of the stuff we learned last semester. All you can do now is review and try your best.

4. Your dog will always love you

No matter what happens, your dog will always be so excited to see you when you come home.

5. You’ll get your degree

It may seem nearly impossible now, but you can do it. Some of the best things in life take time and patience, with a little hard work added in.

6. Leslie Knope 

If you’re ever feeling bad just watch the first episode where Leslie falls into the pit and remember that at least you didn’t have to do that.

7. Your bed

After a long, hard day, your bed will always welcome you back with warm open arms. Once you climb in, all of your troubles go away.

8. Keep it neutral

Anytime my mind tells me “this is terrible and I don't know how things could get better," I always tell myself, yes, things could be better, but they could also be so much worse.

9. God has your back 

Through every situation, trial, and tribulation, God is always there silently watching his plan unfold. He gives his strongest warriors the scariest battles, for He knows they will conquer.

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