To The Girls That Go After Guys Not Interested In Them, Don’t You Want Someone Who Wants You Back?

To The Girls That Go After Guys Not Interested In Them, Don’t You Want Someone Who Wants You Back?

If it's not reciprocated, why continue to give energy to a dying situation?

JBoyd
JBoyd
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There's so much to be addressed and I am ready to let it all out on this topic ladies. I believe it's time to correct ourselves before we move forward with someone else. The headline explains a lot of things by itself because we know that we are guilty of chasing after someone who doesn't want us how we want them. It's time for some DAMAGE CONTROL!

First and foremost, we must stop allowing ourselves to settle for less. What I mean by that is, we need to stop trying to prove ourselves and worthiness to someone. No one should have to prove that they are "anything" to someone for a relationship to start. Sending "good morning" to someone and you don't care to do it but you're doing it to just keep their attention; please stop. We are all worthy and have something special to offer to someone, even if it is not for the person you want it to be for. No more subjecting ourselves in 2019.

NEVER SETTLE. https://unsplash.com/photos/kBJEJqWNtNY

Next, there's more where that came from, right? Although you have butterflies for a specific person, that does not mean you need to put all your eggs in one basket. Going after someone that's not interested in you is a waste of time. There's always another person who can bring more to the table or who can deliver what you need. Okay, you can't control your feelings and I understand that, but you can control who you give your space, time and energy too. If it's not reciprocated, why continue to give energy to a dying situation?


Never put all your eggs in one basket. https://unsplash.com/photos/43o1KVbOWXA

Let's quit the theatrics. Ladies, it's time to cut it out and give these guys the respect that they deserve in this aspect: you are CHOOSING to chase after someone who doesn't want you, instead of the guy that's CHOOSING to chase you. Funny how things work. Just because you feel as though the guy who likes you isn't enough, he just may be. If he's giving you affection, time, energy, loyalty and honesty, then he's a great candidate to put these same elements back into. The guy that you want, does he hold any value for you? Sexual tension should not be the only thing in the picture nor that he's a nice guy. What standards does he have? What standards do you have? How can you both build with each other? How can you both reach personal goals and achievements while committing to being in a relationship with each other? There are many factors that play a part in why you want this guy and what IS he bringing to the table.

What can they bring to the table?https://unsplash.com/photos/0BhSKStVtdM

As I began listing questions to give food for thought, I had an epiphany. One of our biggest flaws, ladies, is that we don't listen. Most men are open and can express what they want out of an encounter with you. Either it's to pursue more, have sex, or quite frankly, they just do not know. Men are simple, we just don't want to take the boost down on our confidence and rejection. If a man wants to be with you, he will be with you. There's no doubt about that. Women need to listen and hear what these men are saying to them.

If he doesn't want to be with you, that's how he feels and he has his reasons, I promise. We put expectations and hope into a situation without analyzing what needs to be analyzed, which is what are the intentions before things get too deep. Not only do we out expectations into a situation, we put expectations on a guy that we like and begin to want, physically, emotionally, intellectually, or mentally, but that's not the case for him. He isn't interested and we have to respect that he isn't interested in being in a relationship or taking things to the next level, whatever the next level may be.


Open your ears and listen to him. https://unsplash.com/photos/SIZ66vF4FKA

This may seem harsh, but it's the ugly truth and I know that my women reading this can attest that we are guilty of something that I've explained in this article. Re-evaluate everything. If he isn't creating time to spend time with you or it's been MONTHS (six plus) and he hasn't made any type of acknowledgment to take things to the next level, then that's your job to ask where are things going or to just give up, especially if he's told you he's not interested in pursuing anything with you.

Give the guy who makes all the time in the world for you a chance. The guy who checks on you, believes in you, supports you and EFFORTLESSLY is everything that you need should be in the rankings. He sees potential in you and everything you could be and what you are in his eyes. Let him be the good man that he wants to be. DAMAGE CONTROL is tough, but it's needed to bring the realizations of what needs to be done, in order to move forward with situations and life.


Be mindful. He may be more than you think. https://unsplash.com/photos/DFtjXYd5Pto

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To The Boy I’ve Been Dating Since I Was 15, I Always Knew You Were My Forever

Thank you for showing me love when I thought I didn't deserve any.

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Hey you,

People assumed our "fling" would only last a few short months. It's what everyone assumes when your first love happens during your sophomore year of high school. Yet here we stand, three and a half years later, more together than we've ever been. Although we've had our ups and downs, we still managed to keep our relationship going and to remember why we're together in the first place.

Many say loving isn't easy, but you make it a walk in the park.

You respect me in more ways than one, and you make me feel beautiful, inside and out. For a long time, I never noticed the beauty and strength I have within myself. I didn't see what others would point out to me, and at times I still find it hard to acknowledge my worth. However, you came into my life at a time when I felt I had no one, and you helped me to see all I have to offer. You helped me to open my mind to the thought of loving myself for who I am, and although the road is long and I'm not completely there, you've made me see how worthy of love I truly am.

Having you as my best friend, along with being my boyfriend, is the most rewarding feeling in the world.

I think the reason we rarely fight or stay angry with each other is that we truly are best friends. We could spend all of our time in deep conversation about any topic in the world and still feel engaged and ready to hear more from one another. Every single day I learn something new about you and vice versa. We can be ourselves in each other's presence and have fun doing absolutely nothing exciting. I am easily annoyed by a lot of things, but you are not one of them. Being with you for hours, even if we just watch TV the entire time, never gets repetitive or boring.

You treated me with the respect I deserved before I even realized I was worthy of it.

In many ways, I don't respect myself. Whether it be body image or letting "friends" walk all over me, I let many thoughts and people control my life. You, however, were the saving grace I needed. You've shown me how I deserve to be treated and how I should think of myself. Often I wonder how I got so lucky to end up with someone who loves me unconditionally and who values everything I have to offer. I say all the time that I don't deserve your heart, your kindness, your love, but you always remind me that I do. And I'm starting to realize that you're right; I deserve every bit of love, kindness, and respect that you have to offer. I can only hope that I award you with the same love and selflessness you give me every single day.

Three and a half years with someone may seem extremely long, but I feel as though we've been together a lifetime. It's hard to remember a time when you weren't right there beside me, and I would never want to imagine a future without you in it. There are so many more laughs, adventures, and memories to be made with you, and I only hope that I can be at least half of the person you are.

Thank you for pulling me out of the darkness. Today, tomorrow, and always.

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If Your Shorts From Last Summer Don't Fit This Spring, Don't Panic Just Yet

Sometimes sucking it in doesn't even cut it.

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We've all been there — you put on a pair of shorts that fit you like a glove last year and they just don't fit the way you remembered. This feeling sucks, but there are plenty of solutions for when your favorite pieces can't quite fit over the love handles.

First off, there's nothing to be ashamed of! It's normal for people to pack on a few extra pounds during the cold months due to lack of outdoor activity, holidays, and overall laziness. Usually, people lose a little extra weight in the summer months by being outside and sweating and eating fresher and healthier foods. So who knows, by the time summer is in full swing, they may fit again!

The obvious answer would be to work out, but I understand that's not for everyone. For those who are looking into getting back into shape for bikini season, a good mix of cardio and lifting three to five days a week will help tone and slim that body down in no time! Make sure that if you start exercising, eat enough nutrients! Some people tend to think if they eat less and work out, it'll help you lose more weight, and yes this is true, but you'll also be losing muscle mass in the long run and this can be detrimental to your health. Getting sufficient nutrients is vital to making sure your body is functioning properly!

For those of you who don't necessarily want to do any formal exercise, eat healthier and go on walks! It's amazing what adding a walk into your day will do for your body! Not only will it help your heart health, but it will tone your legs and help shed some extra pounds. Eating healthy is also pivotal to getting rid of unwanted fat. Diet fads are definitely no way to go. It's not about eating less necessarily but eating what's good for you. Everyone's bodies are different and it will take some figuring out to find what works for you. There are plenty of yummy fruits and veggies in season in the summer, and there's plenty of opportunities to grill out and make some healthy options! Take advantage of this! Whether you're grilling low carb meats and fish or throwing on some veggies for a side dish, grilling is a great way to make healthy meals for you and your family!

For those of you who are fine with the little extra weight you've gained, buy new clothes! Picking out and trying on new clothes can be very fun, but also expensive. If it's not in the budget to head to your favorite retailer and pick out a new pair, head to a thrift store! There are plenty of second-hand options that are not only affordable and cute but environmentally sustainable as well! The fashion industry creates so much unnecessary waste year after year, and you can help cut down by buying second-hand.

With all of this being said, love your body! There are so many different shapes and sizes in the world, and not one person is the same as another, so be proud of what you look like! Whether you're a size XS or a size XXL, everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their own skin. If you're not comfortable with what you look like and wish you could change it, do it! The great thing about our bodies is they're so easy to make changes to. Whatever the case, the weather is warming up and it's almost time to trade those sweats for some shorts and bathing suits!

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