Although it may not be obvious quite yet, the body positivity movement is gaining steam in the United States. More stores and designers are beginning to feature plus-size models, sell plus-size clothes, and work to reduce the stigma around being anything bigger than a size 4. Women who don’t fit the traditional standard of female perfection are telling their stories, sharing their experiences, letting their voices be heard. And for some reason, thin women are upset about it. Every time a bigger girl or woman posts a photo, there’s some thin girl or woman in the offing wailing about how they are now the targets of weight-based discrimination. That being told to go eat a cheeseburger is thin-phobic. That if women who aren’t slim would just buckle down, exercise three hours a day, and live off of salad for the rest of their natural lives, they, too, could be thin and enjoy the attendant societal benefits.

I am one of those not-slim women. And I have something to say to all the skinny girls who complain that body positivity marginalizes them: I don’t care about your opinions on body positivity. Take a deep breath, then read that again. I don’t care about your opinions on this particular topic. I don’t care about why you think body positivity is hurting you or anybody else. For once, in a society that caters to you, I think you should sit down, shut up, and listen to somebody else explain how a society that built you up has systematically torn them down.

Anybody who’s size 8 and up can related to going into a store and being able to find very little in your size, while the racks are overflowing with size 0 and 00. If you’re over a size 12, forget about being able to find inexpensive, attractive clothes at most major retailers. Much like the “pink tax” – hidden costs added into pads and tampons – women over a size 12 pay significantly more for their clothing than other women. And much like the purchase of pads and tampons, buying clothes isn’t exactly something you can opt out of.

When you weigh more than what society deems acceptable, it can affect your career prospects, your romantic relationships, and your interactions with healthcare professionals. You’re less likely to be promoted if you’re overweight. If you’re overweight and dating, you have to question whether every potential partner likes you for yourself or is fetishizing you based on your size. And when it comes to healthcare, you’re less likely to have your legitimate health concerns addressed, because doctors will attribute every symptom you report to your weight. These aren’t trivial concerns. These are real, negative impacts of weight-based discrimination that thin people don’t experience.

Most of the time, I only hear thin-shaming being brought up when somebody else is talking about body positivity. I also hear, “We’re just concerned about your health,” “I don’t want things to be hard for you,” and the ever-present “You’d just be so much happier if…” -- I would be happier if thin women could let the rest of us talk about our experiences without trying to insert themselves into the conversation. We don’t need your permission to love ourselves. We do need you to shut up about it.