"When are y'all gonna have kids?"

Such a simple question that you wouldn't think would be that big of a deal, but actually is. This question has more meaning and is a lot deeper of a question than people realize. That couple you asked either is not ready to have kids, have been trying for a while and can't seem to get pregnant, or do not want kids.

For couples not ready to have kids, they are just simply not ready; these couples get tired of that question and would love to hear anything else. Children are a big deal and if a couple is not ready, let them not be ready. I would rather a couple not ready for kids grow together and eventually be ready for kids in their timing.

For couples who are struggling to get pregnant, that question is heartbreaking in so many ways because they want nothing more than to say a date or say "we are", but they can't. Next time you go to ask a couple that, just avoid the question and let them be.

For couples who do not want kids, they do not want kids; do not berate or put down a couple because they do not want to have kids. There is nothing wrong with a couple not wanting to have kids and never having kids. I am one who is guilty of innocently asking such a deep question and not understanding it until a family member began struggling to get pregnant and is still struggling to get pregnant; I now refrain from asking any couples that question because I don't know how it will affect them.

At the end of the day, a couple's pregnancy is their business and what they do is their business. Instead of asking them "when are y'all gonna have kids?", ask them "how are y'all doing?". Ask them how they are doing individually and as a couple, ask them if they need anything, or just let them know you're thinking about them. These are the things that mean a lot more than anything else.