Why I'm Done Being A 'Yes Woman'

Why I'm Done Being A 'Yes Woman'

I'm saying yes to saying no!

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I've long been surrounded by superwomen. They're strong. They're selfless. They're caring. But what makes them super is that they never, ever say "no."

I grew up thinking the number of times a woman said "yes" equated to their success. I thought and still do to some extent, that the number of organizations and activities listed on a woman's resume defined their leadership prowess and set them apart from all the rest. I sought to prove myself by satisfying others' requests and let the number of activities I could juggle stabilize my self-esteem. Overextension was an understatement.

But where does this incessant need to satisfy people's requests come from? Perhaps it comes from my need to please people. Maybe it stems from my fear of confrontation, or maybe it comes from my inability to make decisions regarding the direction my life takes.

Now that I'm in college, I realize that I'm a serial user of that dreaded three letter word because of the last explanation. More than my desire to be well-liked or fear of confrontation, I've always been indecisive. I'd rather avoid the awkward tension that comes with weighing the pros and cons of a decision entirely by answering people's requests with a resounding "Yes!" "Yes" is a directional word for me- it means moving forward, it means being optimistic and positive, it's a validation of my ability to do something and do a good job.

But what I've come to learn and what Vanessa M. Patrick, Associate Professor of Marketing at the C.T. Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston, says is that "the ability to communicate 'no' reflects that you are in the driver's seat of your own life." And for women, being in the driver's seat in our own lives is a necessity.

I realize now that I've internalized indecisiveness as a feminine trait, and that at heart I've relegated myself to insecurity and anxiety when it comes to making decisions because I've been taught that that's a masculine trait. My inability to say no reduces my power as a student, as a woman, and as a leader.

Taking decision-making off the table further distracts me from pursuing my greatest passions and curiosities. By placing myself on a path that seems to be made for me and playing into the essentialist perspective I betray myself and my own independence. So now, I refuse to accept the path that's presented to me. I refuse overextension. I refuse to be timid in the face of decision making and pledge to be diligent in saying, "no."

"No" does not mean closing a door. "No" means focus, it means direction, it means the enhancing my true purpose in a journey made by me for me.

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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These 6 Vitamins Or Supplements Will Change Your Life

If you think vitamins and supplements are better from our food, you are right, but sometimes we need some extra help.

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I tend to talk like a grandmother. "Do you have some stomachache? Drink a cup of chamomile tea." "Only cut your hair when it is a waxing crescent moon." "Coconut oil is the key for beautiful hair and skin." "Hibiscus and green tea are necessary to lose weight." "Are you sad? A cup of hot chocolate is the answer." Do you see it? I have been like that my whole life.

Now, I want to share some of my wisdom. The last years, I have learned about vitamins and supplements. We do not pay attention to the vast world we have in front of us. The best vitamins and supplements are over the counter and they are affordable. Also, they are everywhere.

If you are the kind of person who thinks vitamins and supplements are better from our food, you are right. However, sometimes we need some extra help.

1. Echinacea.

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Echinacea has changed my life. All my life, I heard Vitamin C is the key to help your immune system… until I started taking echinacea. It works for me thousands of times better than any vitamin. Echinacea is magic to me. If I have the flu I only need to take some echinacea for a couple of days and I am healthy again.

If you like your Vitamin C, please, do not stop taking it. You can add echinacea in your life.

2. Glucosamine.

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This advice is perfect for you (and your parents and grandparents). If you have any joint problems (yes, you are young, but you can have joint issues), glucosamine is a miracle. It needs a couple of months to see its effects. However, as soon as you have glucosamine in your routine, you will have less pain.

3. Vitamin B complex.

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There are many vitamin Bs, and there is a supplement with all the vitamin Bs together (B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, B7, B9 and B12). They are good for metabolism and more. Let me tell you if you want to become a vegetarian or vegan, Vitamin B supplement is key to substitute the minerals you are losing from the meat. They also help to manage anxiety.

4. Melatonin and L-theanine.

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I sleep well most nights. Sometimes, stress, anxiety, nervousness, problems and routines make us have some troubles when we go to bed. Melatonin is magic. I take one, and I am sleeping in five minutes. L-theanine is the best for me when I have to fly. I hate to take a plane; I am almost always panicked. L-theanine makes my travels a lot better.

5. Collagen.

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Do you want to look young forever? Collagen is the answer. You probably have some collagen in your body creams. Having beautiful skin, hair and nails is perfect. You can add some Vitamin E. Yes, to stay young you need some extra help.

6. Omega 3.

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The last but never the least is Omega 3. It helps your heart. You do not need more words or arguments. The heart is one of the most important organs in our body; we need it to be strong and healthy. Of course, Omega 3 is not enough; you must eat healthily and exercise.

There are tons of vitamins and supplements. You can research them and add some in your diet. If you do not like to take many pills, go and get a multivitamin supplement. You will have a lot in only one pill. In any case, taking care of yourself is a must.

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