I've always had bad luck with women — I could just never understand what it would be like to have a crush on someone yet have the same affection not reciprocated. My middle school and high school experiences were intertwined with way too many infatuations than I would like to comfortably admit, but they did end up shaping my future personality.

To be honest, I'm just done with the feeling of liking someone only for my heart to shatter each time. I'm tired of the fact that male hormones are somewhat dictating my everyday decisions due to my (still) developing frontal lobe.

I personally regard having a crush as a double-edged sword; although the feeling of fantasizing about interacting with a crush is quite pleasing, it is by most measures very optimistic. The person you place on the pedestal to indicate their superiority towards you is not the same person existing alongside you. Not just that, but once you place someone on a pedestal, you not only admire them but also feel sad because they seem out of your league; despite your efforts, you never amount to that person.

Some of the most demoralizing experiences I've ever faced were love triangles. It is quite ironic when someone you like has their heart set on someone else, for that someone else to then face the full wrath of your jealousy, rapid animosity, and desire to prove yourself better. However, I learned that following those impulses will only make you dig a deeper grave for yourself.

I am a firm believer in the concept that anyone has the right to say no. However, they don't have the right to ridicule another person for liking them and consequently ceasing contact. I've had that happen to me a few times, where I confess and the person ignores me afterward, and it shifted my perspective with romance significantly. It made me forcibly suppress my romantic urges so that I wouldn't ever have to deal with that situation again.

Not all attempts were successful, especially in my junior year of high school when I had four major crushes (and four major heartbreaks), but by my senior year, I managed to keep my impulses under control. I believe a huge aspect of liking someone is psychological, and that by forcibly suppressing my emotions, I can have a stronger grip on reality and rationality.

As much as I loathe the idea of romance, some crushes that I did end up confessing to were some of the greatest friends I've made, which more than anything deepened the connections I've made. To be honest, having a crush has helped me further understand that I am not perfect, but I can always try. I become far more concerned about my own appearance when I'm infatuated; my physical activity increases exponentially.

Despite this, I've decided I'm done with the idea of romance, at least for a very long time. I believe that it's only going to lead to a life of sadness, despair, and heartbreak. I have better things to do than be invested in someone who clearly won't care about me in the same way.

I'm done wasting my adenosine triphosphate on finding one of the plentiful proverbial fish in the giant expanse of the ocean; I have a biochemistry degree to finish and my future plans are far too great to be distracted enough to squander. Romance, it's been a wild ride, but I found another partner now: the dance of life.