Previously, I've written about my fear of phone calls, but my fears don't stop there. My fear of heights is something that I've noticed has gotten progressively worse overtime, and it stems from my fear of falling.
It began when I nearly fell down an escalator because I stepped right in between two steps before they split into two as I was going down. It may sound funny through writing, but it was probably one of the most traumatizing experiences I had as a kid. Now, whenever I approach an escalator, I hesitate and pause for a few seconds before I step on. It looks worse than it sounds, trust me.
My fear of falling has transformed into a fear of heights. This is why I'm afraid to go on ferris wheels (it's that bad but I can go on roller coasters for some reason). I also cannot go near windows that oversee several stories. I remember when I went to take a tour of the One World Observatory in the city, I could not get near any of the windows because we were just too high up, and I could see everything below me. I even realized that I cannot ride elevators that are transparent. I almost lost it when I stepped into one going up in a hotel, and I vowed to never go in there again. I would rather walk 10 stories if I really had to.
I really don't know how acrobats and trapezists do it. I get scared and panic for them even if I'm simply a spectator. My fear of heights also limits a lot of what I want to do. Believe it or not, going bungee jumping, skydiving, and ziplining have been a part of my bucket list for a while, but I can't bring myself do any of these because I mentally wouldn't be able to handle it. Maybe they weren't meant to be afterall.