The fate of the free world rests in the hands of Donald Trump, and for half of the country, it feels like a nightmare. Trump supporters see us as overly emotional, cry-babies, sore losers, or flat-out unstable individuals, based off of our less than ecstatic reactions to the news. But give me a break for five minutes, and let me speak my peace.

Donald Trump might end up being one of the greatest presidents of all time, we really don't know at this point how he will run things or what his true intentions are. We have no former political experience of his to reflect on, only his exemplary career in business, which may or may not successfully transfer over to the political realm.

Aside from his principles in business and potential political policies, today, I would like to speak freely about Donald Trump's words.

I think we can all vividly recall the 2005 video that aired a "private conversation" between reporter, Billy Bush and Donald Trump.

To refresh your memory, the quotes include “I did try and fuck her. She was married... And I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, ‘I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture."

Trump then states, “I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. And she was married... Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look.”

And here comes the best part, “You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait... And when you’re a star, they let you do it... You can do anything.”

Oh, but it gets better, “Grab them by the pussy, you can do anything.”

I know what everyone is thinking, or, I know what my Trump supporting friends and family must be thinking, "we've heard this a million times", or "this is old news", or my personal favorite, "you can't judge someone from their past mistakes". Which is ironic coming from a population of people who voted against Hillary Clinton due to her "past mistakes". But I'll let that one slide, and get to the real point here.

I am a rape victim. I am also a trauma victim, because of my rape. For anyone who may lack familiarity with trauma victims, we often have a list of "triggers" (some known and some unknown) that can send us into a state of panic or anxiety with little to no warning. For a more scientific definition, check out this link. To put it simply, a former alcoholic will most likely get "triggered" when getting a whiff of their "drink of choice". A former victim of domestic violence might be triggered by things such as a loud male voice or certain derogatory words or phrases. And a veteran who served in a highly charged war zone might be triggered by media coverage of a war that they previously fought in, or even from an unidentified trash bag in the middle of the street, mistaking the bag for an unidentified weapon. Triggers can be different for every trauma victim, abuse victim, addict, etc.

For me personally, I am triggered by young, white males with blue eyes. I am triggered by the specific vehicle that my rapist drives. I am triggered by certain words or "terms of endearment" that he used to have for me. And I am also deeply triggered by wealthy, entitled men in powerful positions who feel as though their bank account or social status can excuse them from menial things like consent. In case it isn't clear, Donald Trump is a trigger for me.

His lack of regard for a women's consent sends me into a panic-filled frenzy beyond my control. Every time I hear him speak now (regardless of the topic), I am reminded of my rapist, and how regardless of how many accusers come forward, social status has somehow saved both of them from prosecution. Money, power, and manipulation can protect even the slimiest of men. And now this man is the face of our nation.

Even seeing Donald Trump's face is a subtle reminder that my rapist walks the same streets as I do, free as a bird, even after all the pain he has caused. His dating life is not affected by raping me. His career is not diminished by raping me. His life is still peaceful, blissful, and full of silver spoons, even though he raped me. Watching our own president walk around high and mighty after saying such deplorable words about women is a slap in the face, not only to myself but to sexual assault victims all across the country.

I cannot speak for every dissatisfied American, or every person who is displeased with the election results. I can only speak for myself, and my story and the trauma that I have experienced. However, I would assume that my disgust with Donald Trump is shared with other trauma victims, specifically related to trauma from a sexual assault. It isn't that we wish to be cry-babies, sore-losers, overly emotional, unstable or anything else. We are trauma victims, and Donald Trump's words re-traumatized us.

Unfortunately, for the next four years, I will never be able to listen to our president speak, because of the degree in which he triggers me. I will be forced to read every State of The Union Address through a written script, and during major wars or crisis', I will have to keep the television turned off. I hope Donald Trump is a good president. I hope he does amazing things for our country, but most of all, I hope he does amazing things for our people. I hope that he is not racist in any way, and I hope that he rebukes any of his supporters who might inflict or imply racist ideals. I hope that he is not sexist. And I hope that he is truly loving and accepting of all people, but only time will tell for sure. I just wish that he would have been a little bit more careful with his words throughout the election, or even prior to it. I wish that I could take him seriously, and I wish that I could trust him fully. At this point, I just really hope that he becomes the man that his supporters think that he is.

God-speed, America.

Personal disclaimer: I did not vote for Hillary Clinton OR Donald Trump in the 2016 election. I voted for Libertarian candidate, Gary Johnson.