How Donald "Dawn" Trump Is Like So Totally A Teenage Girl
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Politics and Activism

How Donald "Dawn" Trump Is Like So Totally A Teenage Girl

Dawn is like the most basic teenager evuuuurr!!! #DawnSuxxx2017

How Donald "Dawn" Trump Is Like So Totally A Teenage Girl

Donald Trump (hereafter referred to as his/her true persona, "Dawn") is so totally a teenage girl. (Just like the rest of the "successful," white men of his age...right? That's how they got to be so successful in the first place...right??? Please tell me that I am right...because, honestly I still don't know how we let this happen...) From his whiny Twitter rants to his obvious inability to control and regulate his actions and behavior, it is quite clear that he is nothing more than a privileged, hormonal, teenaged female.

Don't get me wrong, I love watching teenagers pitch hysterical fits over things that really don't matter in the long run (in lieu of actually caring about important things...such as basic human rights), but I really don't think our president should be mimicking me circa 2008-2009. Those weren't my best years: amidst crying over nothing (or someone talking crap about me ~behind my back~ STILL NOT OVER THAT OKAY?! JUST SAY IT TO MY FACE, B*TCH! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, or worse: some dumb boy who doesn't even matter) and yelling at my mother (because she wouldn't let me ~live my life, GAWD~), I was in no shape to run a d*mn country, let alone be in charge of anything. And guess what?! I wasn't! Because I was a teenager, fighting "the man," my hormones, my school, with my friends/boyfriend, and I was busy just generally being petty, self-centered, and sometimes a downright crappy person all around. But I grew out of that! Maturity started to sink in (and believe me, it hasn't finished its sinking fully just yet...), and I realized how to pay more attention to the crap that you know access to sexual health clinics???

I can assure you, however, that if I had been president during that time period, I probably would be starting wars all over the place! I mean come on! One bad day, some petty hatred, throw in a few bad hormone imbalances, and instead of binging on pizza and passive aggressively hate-texting (or in Dawn's case: aggressively hate-Tweeting) people who pissed me off, well...I'd probably try to start sh*t with North Korea too! Hell, CNN wanted to call me out on being a b*tch that day? HELL NO! #FakeNews! And I could do things like that at that time BECAUSE I WAS IMMATURE. I wasn't some aged, creepy *ss, racist, idiotic, narcissistic white man who should know better. I could lie and get away with it (well I could...sometimes-- sorry mom). And I could say whatever I wanted (even if I didn't mean it later). And I could talk about hot boys/girls like they were pieces of meat. And I could more than definitely whine about stupid sh*t to my friends, name-call other people, and just generally be a lazy piece of sh*t because I was a teenager.

But Dawn here...Dawn has no excuse. That hormonal psycho needs some serious help, or like to just stfu because like...she sucks a**. (And I bet she's a total butterface too! Like ew! Plus have you seen the way (s)he dresses...? GEE-ZUS!)

Dawn like, totally needs a reality check guys. Welcome to the real world: grow the f*ck up!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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