I think we can all admit that November 8 will probably be the scariest day of the year besides Halloween. But do not fear, hilarity is near. Ever wondered what it would be like if someone other than a film critic critiqued films? In this edition, in honor of the election, here's some excerpts of what it would be like if Donald Trump wrote film reviews for five classic Disney films.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

"Snow White is definitely the fairest of them all. Definitely a nine. Nobody has more respect for women than I do. What I would do to trade places with those dwarfs. Are dwarfs even real? Because I'm all real and that includes my hair, that I can tell you. Even if she missed them, I can make it up to her because I can be dopey, sneezy, sniffy, grumpy, bumpy, yeah, all of them. By the way, that ugly evil queen, who's a two by the way, got what she deserved and had the crap knocked out of her." - 10/10

The Lion King

"Mufasa and Simba have a great father-son relationship. It reminds me of my relationship with my father. His very small one million dollar loan really helped me make my companies successful and for the Trump brand to be enormously huge like my hands. The hyenas reminded me of Hillary Clinton: smiling, laughing, mischievous. They are so crooked just like her because Barack Obama, I mean Scar is their bestie. That's how you say it, right? Bestie? Anyway, remember that scene between Simba and Nala? I mean, the scene by the waterfall. For the record, I wish I could have been in Timon and Pumbaa's position at that moment, believe me." -9/10

Toy Story

"Toys coming to life? I had that idea and actually whispered it into Steve Jobs's ear during 1989. Then what does he do? He steals my idea like he stole everybody else's and gave it to Pixar for a movie. Watching Toy Story makes me so angry that my face becomes the same color as my voluptuous, flowing hair. I created Woody, I created Buzz Lightyear, and Steve Jobs created nothing...except for Apple, which I happen to like, it has good products. This film is a sad, strange, little loser. It was rigged. Academy Award? Should've gotten it." - 4/10

Song of the South

Author's Note: Mr. Trump's review of this film was proven too controversial and politically incorrect to reproduce. Any brave soul who wishes to read this review in its entirety may contact me and I will most likely not give it to you.

Aladdin

"Aladdin was a total loser and a bit of a lightweight, but Jasmine, a borderline 10, inspired him to be a winner. And what can I say about that Genie? He was so all over the place that he reminded me of Robin Williams. That's how good that Genie was. As for Jafar, he's a total loser and if it were up to me, he'd be in jail. Unfortunately, the film beat me to it. I hope he stays in his lamp jail when I watch the highly rated and bigly home video success of The Return of Jafar. It's gonna be huge!" - 8.5/10