It’s that point in the year again. Finals are over and in front of us is a long-awaited summer. As someone who just completed their freshman year, it’s hard to believe that I have a full three and a half months ahead to do anything I could possibly want to do. But finals are exhausting, and after a week of waking up at times only a high schooler would wake up at, all I really want to do right now is absolutely nothing.

Yet this is a paradox in itself. If I’m not productive, I tell myself that there’s a whole list of things I could be doing. Even when I choose to relax, there are levels of productivity that I give myself. For example, if I spend half a day binge-watching Netflix, I will actually stop myself no matter how much more I want to watch. Mentally, I can’t accept the fact that I’ve just been sitting in the same place not getting anything accomplished for hours on end. But sometimes, such as now more than ever, I need to remind myself that doing nothing may not always be such a bad thing.

I think the weirdest part of this dilemma is the fact that after spending hours and hours of studying, writing final papers, and just trying to tie up loose ends before the semester finishes, all of the weight is just suddenly lifted off our shoulders. It’s not like it was never there because it can be felt through the residual caffeine running in our veins along with the bags under our eyes. Our bodies, though tired and slightly traumatized, almost become used to this short routine and once that’s taken away, it’s hard to know what to do anymore. Like we don’t really have a purpose for the next couple of days.

It’s a weird, empty feeling but the best thing to do at such a time is to just rest and enjoy it. If you’re really feeling like you need to get something done, then make some to do lists. With all this time, chances are, you’ll be able to cross off at least half of what you wanted to do if not all.

For now, I am going to enjoy this free time, even if just for a little while. I know soon enough I’ll drive myself crazy and intentionally make my schedule busier for fun.