Because if she hears one more thing about cell division, she might just put me up for sale.
1. Eat dandelion puffs in hopes of feeling the "effects" of them.
If you thought dogs weren't into "recreational" activities, you're wrong.
2. Stare at herself in the mirror in an unapologetic vain manner.
"Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who's the prettiest doggo of them all?"
3. Practice her uncalled for sass.
4. Bark at leaves falling.
5. Eat said leaves.
6. Stare out the window even though it's pitch black outside.
7. Knock all the pillows off of my bed.
8. Chew up her toys and blankets.
9. Chew up anything and everything that doesn't belong to her.
10. Dig holes halfway to China in the yard.
11. Lay on her float in the sun without being bothered by "study time".
12. Knock over things with her tail.
13. Scold her destructive tail by growling at it and then chasing it for 8 minutes straight.
14. Let out a heavy annoyed sigh at my ignorance of her presence.
15. Ask to go outside just to victimize that butterfly she sees.
16. Ask to come back inside so she can go back out again in 3 minutes.
17. Try to catch the dust flying around in the air.
18. Leave nose prints all over the glass door.
19. Leave nose prints on all of the windows as well to prove her point.
20. Have a spiritual connection with her wild roots while hiking.
21. "Pet" my face with her paws as a control mechanism to get me to move over in my own bed.
22. Put her butt in my face just because.
23. Pass gas that could kill a cow.
24. Lift the trash can lid to see what forbidden treats she missed out on.
25. "Talk" to me because she knows it makes me laugh even though the stress is real.
26. Offer me her favorite toy.
27. Curl up next to me and lay her head on my pillow, because she knows that her love and a good nap will overpower any stress that might come my way.