Let's say you have a wonderful best friend, and you're super thankful to have her in your life. You love spending time with one another and doing life together. But another person comes into the picture: her ex. Now you have a problem, and it's a biggie. You start falling for him, and, before you know it, you're desperately wanting a relationship with him. "She'll understand," you think to yourself, wondering how your best friend will react. "It'll be fine!"
If you find yourself in a situation like this one, please think again. Coming from a girl who has been in your best friend's shoes, dating her ex is not a good idea. I know, it's easy to catch feelings, but, at the end of the day, love is a choice. I would suggest choosing NOT to date your best friend's ex.
One of my good friends in high school decided to date my ex a year or so after we broke up. Although she asked me if it were okay for them to date, and I said yes, it was never truly "okay" for me. You may be thinking, "Why did you say it was okay if it really wasn't?" Here's why.
I cared about my friend and didn't want to kill her vibe. Trying to keep her from dating the guy she loved would've caused a rift between us that I didn't want there. It has never been my place to dictate my friend's love life. So how could I tell her that I didn't want them together? It should've been obvious.
My ex had caused a lot of pain in my life, and she knew that. I had told her everything that had happened between us, and she had seen firsthand what he had done. I couldn't tell her not to date him because she should have known not to. She should have recognized his tricks and his schemes. She should have realized that dating him would only hurt me and effectively end our friendship. I tried to smile through it and be supportive, but I just couldn't do it. It hurt too much.
My friend and my ex are no longer together after dating for a while. I haven't spoken to my ex since the two of them started dating, and I only speak to her every few months. We haven't spent time together since they began dating. Our friendship was ruined by her choosing to date my ex, and they aren't even together anymore.
What I've learned from my best friend dating my ex is that it hurts, and it's not okay. I'm not judging anyone who chooses to do so or has done so in the past, but I am acknowledging the fact that it is not an "okay" thing to do. It's wrong.
It causes too much hurt and pain, and absolutely no guy is worth it. Literally, there are billions of people on the planet, and there is absolutely no reason why your best friend's ex is "the one" for you. Trust me, honey, he's not. Regardless of the situation and regardless of what either of them says about it, friends should always, always come before boys.
Don't ignore someone else's feelings just to chase after your own. Your best friend wants what's best for you, and the "best" thing for you is probably not her ex. She may tell you it's fine, and she may really seem fine, but it's still not a good idea. Avoid the hurt, the frustration, and the pain. Just don't do it.