I underestimated 2018 as an opponent, it saw, it came, and it conquered. It has been a year of realizing no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to please everyone. Not only will I never be able to please every soul that roams the earth, unless I want grey hairs and wrinkles by the time I am 27 I need to stop blaming myself and thinking I am somehow unworthy of their love.
It may have taken 26 years but I came to the conclusion that life isn't so much about what happens to me, or how people treat me. In fact, what matters and all I really need to concern myself is how I react when things do occur. The true test is how I carry myself upon being treated poorly.
People find all different kinds of reasons to say and do things, and that is their life. We all have the right to choose how we live, who we engage with, where we live, and we all must give everyone that right, even if it means it no longer includes you.
So how do we get past that? For me, it makes me sick and sad. Others may not be plagued with the gut-wrenching feeling. All of which is okay. All I can advise is maybe you just love yourself a little more during that time until that hurt piece of you starts to ache a little less.
If I worry, If I care, If I wrap my mind around it, I can't change it or fix it. It's not worth wasting energy. Putting that energy into something positive is more my style.
As we approach 2019 I hope while staying humble we are all able to turn more hate into love. More kindness and less rudeness. Fewer tears, more smiles. Much more grace and compassion.