Do you feel emptyand like you may have lost a lot? Whether it be friendships, jobs, or something else, are you feeling drained of any happiness and joy?

I find myself most days full of life and joy with my cup overflowing. And then other days I feel completely run down wanting to curl up into the tiniest ball hidden away where nobody can find me.

I wouldn't call my self depressed nor would I say that I suffer with depression. However, I am a human and I believe that I do have moments where I feel like I am sinking into a puddle of mere depression.

It is the moments like that where I try to sit down and pray, write out my thoughts, and channel my emotions into ones that are positive and find rest in Christ's presence and goodness.

I get sad and I get overwhelmed with sadness when I think about the friends that I have lost or the opportunities that I could've had and missed out on.

But before I allow myself to become consumed with those thoughts and feelings to which my anxiety feeds off of, I begin to seek those ways of combating my emotions so that I may overcome.

It hasn't always been easy and I know that it will not always be easy for me. I have been so overwhelmed with memories before where my anxiety did win for a few weeks and I could not get myself out of it.

I spent a month after what should have been one of the most exciting moments of my life unable to sleep, smile, or understand why this was happening.

I did not want to admit that I was facing an internal struggle that I could not understand or turn off when I said so. Inside I was screaming that there was no reason for this.

I struggled to understand if I was truly a good person even in midst of my mistakes, both past and present.

I am a child of Christ who wholeheartedly loves Jesus, but I was so consumed with my mistakes in which the enemy took full control over. Because of this I could not see if I truly deserved to be happy and feel full again.

But I realized, in time and through help, that no matter the mistakes that I have made and will make in the future that Christ loves me so much.

Jesus reminds me that when I feel like I have lost or when I find myself thinking about what I have lost that I have so much more in Him and in Him alone.

He is good.

He is faithful.

He loves me.

I have a savior who loves me so much that He died for me and also for you.

I have family and friends who love me unconditionally even through my past, present, and future mistakes.

I have a husband who actively pursued me because he knew that God made us for each other.

You see, why should I or even you allow the enemy to have control over the memories of what we have lost when we have so much more in Him?

I know we will struggle and that is a given. I have come to the understanding that I will sink into pits of depression and have moments of anxiousness, but I also believe that I through Him I can over come the moments more so that I have before. I had to dig deep and understand that I was struggling internally, and that is not easy to accept.

Please do not ever give up. I am so grateful even through the loses and struggles that I chose not to allow it to overcome me. Today I pray that if you are struggling with the thoughts that you have lost a lot that you will seek Him, count your blessings, and focus on what you do have. You have a beating heart and you are here for a purpose.