I'm A Woman Who Doesn't Want Children, Please Respect That There Is Absolutely Nothing Wrong With That

I'm A Woman Who Doesn't Want Children, Please Respect That There Is Absolutely Nothing Wrong With That

Apparently everyone in my life expected me to grow up to be a mother, except me.


I knew when I was about 17 that I did not want to have children when I grew up. It was at a point in my life where I spent a lot of time considering the future I wanted for myself. I thought about it probably more than I should as a senior in high school and ultimately decided that I just had no desire to have children.

I had friends at the time who were unclear about what they wanted to do with their lives. They didn't know what they wanted to major in or what career they wanted. All they knew was that they wanted to be a mother. I had a lot of respect for them because I could never see myself as a mother or wanting to be one. In the same way that they knew without a doubt that they wanted children, I was sure that I didn't.

Until I really thought about it and came to the conclusion that I didn't want kids, I hadn't noticed how often people reference my hypothetical children. I came to realize that the expectation of me to become a mother was enormous. My parents, the rest of my family, my teachers and mentors, all of them seemed to have this picture of me with children. The phrase "well when you're a mother..." was apparently commonly used in my life. I found myself continuously having to explain that none of the hypothetical scenarios the people in my life were referencing would ever exist.

Sure I could let it go and just allow people to have their own vision of my future, but some part of me felt a need to question why it was automatically assumed that I would become a mother. So many women feel that the feminist movement judges them for decided to be stay-at-home mothers, and I have never been one to say that wanting children makes a woman less of a feminist. However, until then I had never understood the pressure women are under to become mothers.

The worst part was that when I responded to people's comments by saying that I didn't want children, they would immediately tell me "you'll change your mind". To everyone around me, it seemed unfathomable that I would not want to be a mother. My family treated the issue like there was something they knew that I didn't and that when I grew up I would magically want kids. I've never discounted the fact that I could change my mind at some point, but no one respected that I know myself and what I want.

I even had a moment with a close friend of mine. He was telling me how he couldn't wait to have kids, and I was unable to relate, eventually telling him that I actually didn't want children. I could never have predicted his response. He used the words "what you're meant to do" telling me how unnatural it was that I didn't want to be a mother. I was so shocked, that someone my age and who knew me so well could be so upset with the fact that I didn't want kids.

In reality, today less American women are having children than ever before. It shouldn't come as a surprise that as young women are deciding what they want their lives to look like, many choose not to involve children in their aspirations. It's clear to me that society has quite a lot of work to do if we still expect girls to aspire to motherhood without holding boys to the same standard.

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7 Of The Most Influential Women In History Who Left Their Stamp On The World

6. Daisy Bates


These are the women who made put the foundation to make our present and future possible. Even today, they still continue to inspire other young men and women. In honor of international women's history month which lasts from March 1st through the 31st, here are seven of the most influential women in history.

1. Rosa Parks

Rosa Parks is a well known African American female who refused to give up her seat on a segregated bus in Montgomery, Alabama in 1955. As a result of her actions, she was arrested which led to a nationwide campaign boycotting city buses in Montgomery.

Her brave actions played a very important role during the civil rights movement that eventually led to the end of bus segregation. Rosa Parks was given the nicknames "The First Lady Of Civil Rights" and "The Mother Of Freedom Movement".

2. Harriet Tubman

Harriet Tubman was a former slave and abolitionist who escaped from her plantation to lead other slaves to freedom using the Underground Railroad. The Underground Railroad was a network of secret routes and safe houses that led to the northern states. She dedicated her whole entire life to helping others slaves escape who wanted freedom too. Harriet Tubman also led a secret life as a former spy during the war helping the Union Army.

3. Madame C.J Walker

Madame C.J. Walker whose real name was Sarah Breedlove, an African American, who became a self-made millionaire and entrepreneur. In fact, she was considered the wealthiest African American businesswoman in 1919.

She created her own wealth by developing and selling her hair care products. Madame C.J. Walker stumbled upon her wealth when she tried to find a product that would help with her scalp disorder which made her lose the majority of hair.

This is when she began to experiment with home remedies and store bought hair treatments which inspired her to help others with their hair loss after she saw significant improvement in her hair. She also was a very generous person who helped her community by giving to those less fortunate.

4. Coretta Scott King

Coretta Scott King was an American activist and writer alongside her husband, the world famous, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, who fought for civil rights through peaceful protest. She supported nonviolence and women's rights movements.

After her husband's assassination, Mrs. King assembled and established an organization called "The King Center" in memory of her husband who believed in non-violent social change. She also led the petition to have her husband's birthday become a federal holiday which was eventually successful.

5. Susan B. Anthony

Susan B. Anthony, a Caucasian female, was a suffragist and civil rights activist. She campaigned against slavery and fought for women to be given the right to vote.

Her role definitely played a vital part in providing for the preparations for laws in the future for women rights. She worked with Elizabeth Cady Stanton to create the America Equal Rights Association (AERA) in 1866.

6. Daisy Bates

Daisy Bates was an African American activist and in 1952, she became the president of the NAACP in Arkansas. As a mentor who played a key role in helping to integrate the school system in Arkansas, she wanted to end segregation and helped do that with the introduction of the Little Rock Nine.

The Little Rock Nine was nine African American students who were enrolled in Little Rock Centeral High School, but the governor of Arkansas refused their admittance. In 1954, the Supreme Court ruled segregation in schools were unconstitutional; however, African American students were still being denied in all white high schools.

In 1957, history was made when Daisy Bates helped nine African American students known as the Little Rock Nine to become the first African Amercians to attend an all white high school.

7. Ida B. Wells

Ida B. Wells was a former slave in Mississippi, African American journalist, and a leader in the civil rights movement in its earlier years. Ida was born in 1862 to parents James and Elizabeth Wells.

In 1892, she began an anti lynching campaign after three African American men were abducted by a mob and then subsqequently murdered. She was a founding member of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People also known as NAACP.

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The Power Of Journaling

Slowing down in a fast pace world.


In a world where everything is moving so fast pace, I have found comfort in taking small moments to reflect on the blurring images around me. I have always loved to journal, but recently I have found a system that works very well for me.

One habit that I have newly formed is creating a section in my journal that I like to call "Get Out of My Head." Life moves very fast and sometimes my thoughts can't keep up. This causes stress, anxiety, sadness and even the feeling of loneliness. I have created this section in my journal to be a safe place where I can just scribble down whatever is taking over my head, but there is a trick.

Like I stated previously, I have always loved to journal, but I never found ultimate comfort in it because I would go back and read what I wanted to remove from my mind. This was causing me to reexperience what I didn't want to. I highly suggest having a place in your journal that is essentially a flame for all th4e thoughts you want to rid of.

On the contrary, have a section in your journal where you love to look. I try and fill this section with happy thoughts, quotes, verses, and gratitude. This makes journaling and reading your entries something to look forward to, rather than not.

In conclusion, journaling is unique for everyone and it takes some time to figure out exactly the right way. But once you discover the safe place that journaling can be, it can change your life forever.

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