Do Not Tell Me To Just Calm Down
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Health and Wellness

Do Not Tell Me To Just Calm Down

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.

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Do Not Tell Me To Just Calm Down
Love Lace Media

Dealing with a mental illness is not an easy thing for anyone to do. Ever. In the past, I have had an incredibly hard time with the idea of anyone knowing that I was dealing with depression and anxiety because I thought it was something to be embarrassed about.

Recently, I realized that it is definitely not embarrassing at all and I have no problem acknowledging it. Along the way, I have told a few friends here and there that I knew would be supportive. It helped to have a support system who understood what I was dealing with, or, at least, would try their hardest to.

These specific friends would always be very careful what they said while I was around, but there were some people who made different statements that I found insulting or just annoying.

1. Just Calm Down

Thank you to all the geniuses I have met along the way that tell me to "just calm down" when I have had an anxiety attack. I would never have thought to do that on my own. It had never even crossed my mind that it would be more beneficial for me to be calm rather than sitting here in a ball sobbing unable to catch my breath. However, now that you mention it what a grand idea.

2. There's always someone worse off than you.

This doesn't necessarily hurt my feelings when this is said to me; however, I will never say this to someone else. Even if this is true it does not mean that the person's situation is any less important. One should not believe that the emotional roller coaster she is riding is any less important because someone else's life is difficult as well.

3. Try not to be so depressed.

Wow, whoever thinks of this is almost as smart as the person who tells me to just calm down. GREAT IDEA THOUGH! I never thought that maybe the way to solve all of my problems was to pretend they weren't there. Ignoring something obviously just makes it disappear, right? Oh wait, no, that's not true at all.

4. Trust me, I know how you feel. I was depressed for several days once—everyone gets depressed sometimes!

Oh really? Please tell me of all your experiences with depression. Tell the stories of how you were "depressed" for a few short moments. Depression is not something that comes and goes every few days.

Depression is a darkness that will consume your entire life for months or even years. Do not tell someone with depression that you understand what you're going through after having a small bout of sadness for a few days. Sadness does not equal depression.

5. Do you feel better now? (After a five-minute conversation about my feelings).

I know when people say this they're doing so with the best intentions; however, it still is just annoying. NO. OF COURSE NOT. A short conversation is not going to fix everything and make me feel better. Sure it felt good to get stuff off my chest, but no it's not like that one conversation is going to make my depression disappear.

6. Happiness is a choice.

Do not even get me started. I only have one response whenever someone says this to me or I just hear someone say it in general: NO ONE WOULD EVER CHOOSE TO BE DEPRESSED OR BELIEVE THAT AT ANY MOMENT THEIR LIFE WOULD CRUMBLE INTO A MILLION TINY PIECES IF IT WAS JUST AS EASY FOR THEM TO BE HAPPY. OKAY? OKAY.

7. Don't let the small stuff bother you too much.

When you have anxiety and depression nothing ever feels like just another small situation. Everything feels terrible and like it will ruin your life. Even if you consider something to be "small stuff" does not mean that someone facing depression and anxiety will feel the same way.

Telling them that it's not a big deal can make that person feel guilty for being upset over something that you consider unimportant. Don't make anyone feel like something is not a big deal just because you would handle it differently.

8. Just do it!

"You'll feel better once you start doing something." No, I won't. When I get out of bed to stop listening to your harassment I will go out in public and immediately regret it. The entire time I will be daydreaming about my bed.

No matter where we go or who we are with I will feel awkward and no matter how long you keep me out I'm not going to want to do what we're doing. Forcing me to go out and do something is just going to end up ruining the experience for you as well when my mood does not change even if we're out for most of the day doing something you find fun.

It's likely that by the time we return home I will feel even worse than when we left.

9. Don't be so emotional.

After I got into an argument with one of my old friends he tweeted something to the effect of, "I hate over-emotional people." I cannot describe how furious it makes me when people tell me I'm too emotional. Everyone faces emotions and everyone handles them differently.

There's nothing wrong with being emotional and having no problem stating how you feel. If you say something that hurts someone else's feelings take responsibility, but do not blame them for being emotional when you were just being a jerk. If you know someone is sensitive about certain subjects do not bring them up.

Do not blame someone for feeling a certain way especially if you do not know what happened in the past that triggers certain emotions.

10. Everything will be okay sooner or later.

Many people may not agree that this is a bad thing to say to someone. When I hear it I immediately think: much later. I think about how long it is going to take to feel okay again. I think about how long I have felt this terrible.

I wish that it would just stop and go away and then when it doesn't I get disappointed. What if I am the exception to the rule and it does not get better ever?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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