The day has come. The day you felt deep in your bones to be true, but you always had hoped it never would actually happen. It's odd, really, because it's something you should have been hoping for. From an outside perspective, it should have happened a long time ago, and even that is a truth you're pretty well aware of. However, you had clung to the possibility that since it hadn't happened yet, maybe it could have been avoided altogether. Still, you're not sure why exactly you had hoped to hold on to something so completely toxic and bad.

You had watched your words, your battles, your every move to avoid letting off the bombshell. You tiptoed for days, weeks, months around the subject, or really any fragile subject. You thought carefully about each word that exited your mouth so that you would be sure not to offend anyone. Today it seems as if you picked the wrong battle, and suddenly, you hear it.

"We need to break up."

Of course, this is followed by some crap-loaded reasoning. You know that for months they haven't put a single ounce of effort into the relationship, making it quite clear that they don't particularly care to be in it. You know that you had been trying to communicate your concerns repeatedly with no positive outcome. You know you poured yourself into trying to make it work and fix things that you knew from the beginning couldn't be. You know that the things that you did wrong were strictly just reactions to what they continued to do poorly. You know you tried, and they didn't, and that's why it makes you so angry.

The excuse could be "We aren't right for each other." Or "We just didn't click." Somewhere in the mix, they might even include "It's not you, it's me," which is the only reason they actually got right, but you know it's not a reason they actually believe. It drives you even more insane.

To which you respond:

No, we aren't right for each other because you treated me terribly. You didn't treat me like a significant other. You treated me like I was a pain to be around. You didn't want to be around me or talk to me or anything, which leads to the next point. No, it isn't that we didn't click at all. If we didn't, we wouldn't have dated in the first place. We stopped clicking because you stopped talking to me. You didn't hang out with me. You sure as hell didn't prioritize me in any way. The lack of clicking wasn't for a lack of anything on my end; it was a lack on yours. Finally, you're right. It is you. That is something that I hope you actually figure out. That you actually start to believe. I hope you realize that all of your reasoning is so undeniably wrong, and you're the only one who doesn't see it. I really do hope you actually try to work on yourself. You need to.

Wow.

You leave the conversation at first feeling validated. You know your response is right, and you know that you could go talk to anyone and they would assure you that what you said was perfectly fine because it was the truth. It was a truth that they needed to hear, no matter how harsh it may have come across. Yet, a few hours later, you begin to overthink it too much.

Maybe you should have been nicer?

Maybe you were in the wrong somehow and it was actually your fault?

Maybe you should have left some parts out?

You go over it in your head, wondering if you should apologize or not. Wondering if they hate you now because you had called them out on their crap. Wondering if it was too much. You start to feel a little anxious, wishing you could reverse time and take back everything you had said. You almost wish you would have just sat there, taken what they said, then gotten up and walked away.

But you didn't.

And you shouldn't. Do you want to know why?

If you felt that you needed to say what you had to say, then you should have said it. If you hadn't, you'd be sitting here overthinking the same exact scenario, but you'd be thinking about what you should have said or done. You'd be thinking about how you just let them get away with everything they did without being called on it, so they would never learn from what they did that was detrimental and they would never fix it. You'd be thinking that they might think they can just walk all over you like they had been without you putting up a fight and that they might think you're too soft and easily manipulated. You'd be thinking that they might have it in their head that they got the best of you, that they are justified, that they are right about the entire situation and none of their thinking is flawed. You'd be mad you didn't speak up, and you'd be wanting to contact them to say what you need to to get the closure you want.

Doesn't that sound much worse?

If you still feel like maybe you could have been nicer, then okay, maybe you could have, but also maybe what THEY needed wasn't a light kick, but a real punch to the gut. Don't beat yourself up over it, because I'm sure they aren't thinking too hard about what you said anyways. It's really okay.

If you still are wondering if maybe you should have taken more time to respond instead of jumping the gun, think about this: What was your gut reaction when those words came out of their mouth, across your screen, etc? Was your reaction to say no, that's wrong, I am not at fault here and here is why? Was it that what they said made you take a step back before you got completely offended and went off? Was it that it didn't bother you at all, but you felt like it should? If your initial reaction was to say what you said, then you are doing okay. To clarify, if you called them out and later you think you should apologize, that isn't another gut instinct talking to you. In that situation, your gut instinct was to say what you said. The secondary thought, and usually the incorrect one, is saying to apologize. Over and over we are told to trust our gut instinct. If your gut instinct said to call them out, odds are it was a good call, and they deserved that swift kick to the ego.

Overthinking is going to be your worst enemy, especially if the break up is fresh. You are more than likely going to overthink, but the key is not to let your overthinking rule you. Cling to the truth, not to your emotions at the time. Emotions can be quite deceptive, and they are forever changing with time. The truth is the only thing that will outlive you. So if you know that the truth is that you were treated unfairly and you were right to say what you said, then cling to that. Don't go back on it and apologize just because you wonder about it later. Keep your actions in check. In the end, it's best to let everything die down. If months later, when you don't feel connected to them in any way you feel like you still want to apologize, then go ahead. Just make sure that it's you talking based on the truth and not based off of a whim.