Do Interracial Couples Help Increase Tolerance?

Do Interracial Couples Help Increase Tolerance?

Love can conquer anything, so why not racial intolerance too
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It's honestly wild to me that mixed race marriages have been legal for only 50 years (Thanks to the case, Loving v Virgina). But it's also not surprising why there's still so much intolerance towards this type of relationship.

I'm a tan skin, Asian American and the majority of my dating history has been comprised of Caucasian men, so I've had my fair share of experiences with the added societal pressures that come along with being in a mixed race relationship. If any typically "average" issue arises between the two partners, the first reasoning to others may be "they just come from different backgrounds" or "they're just too different", solely based off the difference in race or ethnicity. It's frustrating because if it were two partners of the same race, the problem would be seen as an ordinary problem. I'm not disregarding the fact that two people of the same race may have completely different backgrounds; however, being in an interracial relationship, the difference in skin color, family history, or background always seems to play a part in any issue.

To my surprise, it was watching this season's The Bachelorette, which sparked my desire to finally discuss this topic. If you don't watch the Bachelorette, I'll fill you in on the basics. ABC's Season 13's Bachelorette is Rachel Lindsay. (Read more about her here.) The men pining after Rachel's heart are of various races and backgrounds, as per usual on the show. The main difference about this season is that Rachel is the show's first black Bachelorette. She has already opened up about the pressures she has faced being in her position because of her race. The members on the show have also discussed the topic with each other. One contestant in particular stated his observation of Rachel's elimination of many black contestants, while others discussed her history of dating men of all races.

Since when does the color of your skin or your background determine what's in your heart and what you're capable of providing in a monogamous relationship?

In a study conducted by Pew Research Center, data reveals that one-in-six newlywed couples have a spouse of a different race or ethnicity. This proves that there has been a shift of societal norms and expectations when it comes to relationships and marriage. As a country and society, we have made many great strides forward in breaking idealistic standards of a picturesque marriage and family. With the increased tolerance and openness of my generation and younger generations, when it has come to same-sex marriage and the acceptance of personal differences. Any type of relationship that deviates from the archetypal couple will have it's societal pressures; however, I can only hope that there will be an increased tolerance when it comes to mixed race relationships.

So, do you think interracial couples have a potential to increase racial tolerance?

Cover Image Credit: http://s3-origin-images.politico.com/

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20 Rules Of A Southern Belle

It is more than just biscuits and grits.
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These unwritten rules separate the people that move to the South and were born and raised in the South. If you were born and raised in a small southern town, you either are a southern belle or hope you get to marry one. Their southern charm is hard to dislike and impossible to be taught.

1. Adults are to be answered with "Yes ma’am" and "Yes sir."

Whether it’s your parents, grandparents, or the person that checks you out at the grocery store, always say yes ma’am.

2. Always write a thank you note.

For any and everything. No gesture is too small.

3. Expect a gentleman to hold the door open and pull out your chair.

Chivalry is not dead; you just need to find the right guy.

4. All tea is sweet.

Below the Mason-Dixon Line, tea is made no other way.

5. Don’t be afraid to cook with butter.

I’ve never met a good cook that didn’t giggle a little.

6. “Coke” refers to all sodas.

Here in the south, this means all types of sodas.

7. Pearls go with anything — literally anything

And every southern belle is bound to have at least one good set.

8. "If it’s not moving, monogram it."

9. Pastels are always in fashion.

And they look good on almost everyone.

10. And so is Lilly Pulitzer.

11. Curls, curls and more curls.

The bigger the hair, the closer to Jesus.

12. If you are wearing sandals, your toenails should be done.

13. Never ever ever wear white shoes, pants, dresses, or purses after Labor Day or before Easter.

Brides are the only exception. Yes we actually do follow this rule.

14. Never leave the house without lipstick.

A little mascara and lipstick can work miracles.

15. Always wear white when you walk down the aisle.

Weddings are taken very seriously here in the South, and they should be nothing but traditional.

16. Southern weddings should always be big.

The more bridesmaids the better.

17. Saturdays in the fall are reserved for college football.

Whether you spend it tailgating in that college town or watching the big game from your living room. You can guarantee that all southerner’s eyes will be glued to the game.

18. Sunday is for Jesus and resting.

19. Learn how to take compliments curiously.

20. Have class, always.

Cover Image Credit: Daily Mail

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Dear Beautiful Black Girl, Never Forget Your Worth

An ode to all the beautiful black girls.

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We live in a society where societal standards greatly define the way we view ourselves. Although in 2019 these standards are not clear cut, some things are not easy to change. Not to play the race card, but this is true for women of color, especially black girls.

As much as I'd like to address this to all women, I want to hit on something that I'm more familiar with: being a black girl. Black females have a whole package to deal with when it comes to beauty standards. The past suppression and oppression our ancestors went through years ago can still be felt in our views of beauty. It is rare to see young black girls be taught that their afros and nappy hair are beautiful. Instead, we are put under flat irons and dangerous chemicals that change our hair texture as soon as our hair becomes too "complicated" to deal with. The girls with darker skin are not praised, but rather lowered in comparison to their peers with fairer skin. A lot of the conditioning happens at a young age — at the age of 8, already you can feel like you're in the wrong skin.

As we grow up, there are more expectations that come here and there, a lot of very stereotypical and diminishing. "You're a black girl, you should know how to dance," "black girls don't have flat butts," "black girls know how to cook," "you must have an attitude since you're black" — I'm sure you get the idea. Let me say this: "black girls," as they all like to say, are not manufactured with presets. Stop looking for the same things in all of us. Black girls come in all sizes, shapes, colors, and talents. I understand that a lot of these come from cultural backgrounds, but you cannot bash a black girl because she does not fit the "ideal" description.

And there is more.

The guys that say, "I don't do black girls, they too ratchet/they got an attitude" — excuse me? Have you been with/spoken to all the black girls on this planet? Is this a category that you throw all ill-mouthed girls? Why such prejudice, especially coming from black men? Or they will chant that they interact with girls that are light-skinned, that is their conditioned self-speaking. The fact that these men have dark-skinned sisters and mothers and yet don't want to associate with girls that look the same confuses me. And who even asked you? There are 100 other ethnicities and races in the world, and we are the one you decide to spit on? Did we do something to you?

Black girls already have society looking at them sideways. First, for being a woman, and second, for being black, and black males add to this by rejecting and disrespecting us.

But we still we rise above it all.

Black girls of our generation are starting to realize the power that we hold, especially as we work hand in hand. Women like Oprah Winfrey, Lupita Nyong'o, Chinua Achebe, Michelle Obama — the list is too long — are changing the narrative of the "black girl" the world knows. The angry black woman has been replaced with the beautiful, educated, and successful melanin-filled woman.

Girls, embrace your hair, body, and skin tone, and don't let boys or society dictate what is acceptable or beautiful. The black girl magic is real, and it's coming at them strong.

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