Are you broke?

Are you stressed?

Are you hungry?

Are you bored?

Are you all of the above? There is a place that you can do everything you want and spend no money at all. No, I'm not kidding. It's called the mall.

Are you really stressed after a long week of non-stop work? (Cue college students everywhere nodding their heads.) Go to the mall and head straight to Brookstone. This store is a glorious place filled with high-tech gadgets and massagers. Technically these massagers are there for people who want to try them out before making a purchase, but hey for all the clerk knows you could be a potential customer! Sit back, relax, and enjoy the free massage.

Now, let's talk about what is really important: food. Places like Teavana offer free tastings. Check out the kiosks in the middle of the mall rather than the food court because they are more likely to have the samples. Smoothie places usually make a little too much for the cup to hold when they serve a customer and they turn the rest into samples. Keep your eyes open and keep on snacking!

How does one shop without spending money? There are two ways to go about this. Firstly, you can window shop. You get all of the enjoyment of trying on clothes and envisioning yourself walking through campus in that new sweater without actually spending any money. However, this is definitely not as fun as actually going home with the clothes, which brings us to idea 2: shop with a friend. When you see a shirt that you really like at Forever21 your friend might say, "I have that in red!" You're shopping at the mall, but really you're shopping in your friend's closet! Or maybe, if your friend really likes the shirt too, you could both shell out a little cash and share the shirt.

If you're bored, the mall is also a great place to people watch. Pop a squat down at the food court and let your mind run wild. See that women in the cheetah-print skirt who just bought a salad? She's trying to lose weight for her wedding day. Her fiance just proposed last week, but the venue she wants was only available four months from now or in three years. She'll be eating those salads for every meal. How about that guy in the Giants jersey buying a Chipotle burrito? He is really an Eagles fan, but he lost a bet and has to wear that jersey all day. He is not looking anyone in the eye because he is so ashamed.

Yes, it is true. The mall has everything you need at no cost. Hitch-hike, drive, Uber, or walk--do whatever it takes get yourself over to the mall and enjoy a fun-filled day on your college student budget!