Saw shoes on the Internet
Turns out they're multi-thousand dollar Dolce and Gabbana shoes.
1) Shoes with plain cork heels or wedge
2) Charcoal pencil or regular pencil with a dependable eraser
3) Art markers or sharpies. I used various shades of brown to get a "multiple types of wood" effect, although any colors you want would probably work
4) Willingness to have Zella Day write your shoes into a song to make it seem deep
5) Enough photo filters to disguise all your artistic fuck-ups in a blissful summer haze
I had these heels laying around from a theater production; I got them at DSW for about $9.
I already had the art supplies from when my high school gave them away; the markers are like $4 each at Blick. They're spirit-based, which means the designs will be waterproof unless alcohol is spilled on them, which you probably will do when drinking whiskey out of a mason jar as the fireflies dance overhead while your boyfriend with white dreadlocks plays a terrible rendition of "Rihannon" for the SEVENTH F*CKING TIME.
Make a sketch of the side of your shoe that is the same size of said shoe so you can draw your design.
Using the charcoal, copy the design you made on the paper onto the body of the shoe!
Trace the charcoal outline with a spirit marker of medium value (not too light, not too dark).
Fill in the design with various colors as you see fit!
TIP: Spirit markers can blend together if you rub one color over another, so you can go wild with the blending!
TIP: I used shadows in a pathetic attempt to make it look embossed
Just kidding, life is about the journey, not the destination.
It was a test and you failed.