I saw a video on the Humans of New York facebook page the other day that got me thinking.
In the video one of the people featured talks about the importance of helping others. You can see a crowd walking both ways past him in a busy subway. He points out that it’s all a big rat race.
Thinking about it, I realized that he is so right. All of the things we focus so much on (traffic, due dates, tests, bills, bank accounts) never fulfill us. They seem never ending. No matter what you do, you will still have traffic to fight tomorrow morning. You will still have bills to pay next month. You’ll still have a new due date by the end of this week.
If you talk to anyone these days, they’re worried about something. Everyone is running from one thing to the next, and it makes it impossible to freely communicate. You could walk up to a friend and say you just won the lottery, but they barely react because they have an essay due tomorrow in a class they are currently failing. That's all they can think about. Only 5% of their attention is on you. Whenever we are in a high stress state, it’s like our communication has sound proof glass stuck in the middle of it. One is talking but whoever is preoccupied is not hearing it. They are thinking about how they are going to get over their current obstacle.
I’m not saying that you should not pay your bills or get any assignments done. What I’m proposing is that we keep our endeavors in mind, but don’t let them consume us. We need to keep human interaction and generosity in front of obsessing over things like grades. Just like the cliché says, you won’t be laying on your death bed holding onto your college diploma or your bank statement. You’ll be holding onto your loved ones, reminiscing about good memories, and tying up any lose ends. Putting more meaningful things first won’t only make your life more fulfilling, but it will help everyone else. They get to actually enjoy your full presence instead of interacting with a cardboard version of you. Other people also benefit from you paying attention and being present if you help prevent little mistakes.
Last week I had a communications test that required we bring our own scantrons. I bought three just in case, and what do you know- two people came up to our professor saying they didn’t have one. Of course, I gladly gave them my extra. I had prepared, and the other two lucked out, but in theory everyone won. Say no one in the class had purchased extra, then they either would not have had a way to take the test at all or would have had 10 points deducted by the teacher if he had to supply it. So they won by avoiding any penalty. I was given the opportunity to perform a good deed and feel a sense of helpfulness. I won by gaining happiness from giving to others.
If we all made a personal decision to keep our head up more, push stress to the side, and focus on what is going on with the people around us, this world would be a much better place. A place with less scantron penalties, less people going to bed at night feeling unloved, and less people with problems that can be fixed by others. A place with more meaningful friendships, more work shifts traded, and more solutions.
Until we all learn to work together so that we can achieve goals in unison, the world will never be at peace and there will always be people left behind. However, if we choose to be present in our lives and to be there for those around us- we can expect to see great change.