I really disliked high school. Don't get me wrong: I had a great group of friends, I did well academically and athletically, and I didn't get bullied or have anything extremely negative at school happen to make me dislike it. I just didn't like the institution itself.
I disliked the competitive and cut-throat attitudes at my high school that bred a culture of cheating. The way in which everyone seemed to be studying for a number on an exam (or cheating for it), instead of truly learning to learn. This may have been a product of simply not being around enough like-minded people in terms of the passion of learning just to have knowledge, just to understand the world better, but I never much cared for my high school and was literally counting down the days until it could be done and over with.
Even now, when I think of certain teachers I had and how their lackluster attitudes or condescending remarks, I cringe. These teachers who were put in a place to teach people material, and to make them love learning, often only did the bare minimum to make sure students were able to received at least a three on the AP exam at the end of the year (a passing grade), or they would criticize students for asking questions and for trying to either gain knowledge necessary or further that knowledge.
These teachers, of which there were only a few that I experienced, made me dislike high school even more because they contributed to the "learning for a grade" environment that I so desperately wanted to escape. However, I do not think it is their fault; I thin these teachers, while having contributed to the system, they are also a product of it. I do not fully blame them for their actions or attitudes, but I just wish that the situation had been different.
There are so many great, young minds that often do not get the chance to grow or to be cultivated because of a broken system, and it is a dangerous thing.
Regardless of all of these sentiments, however, I go back to my high school every time I go home.
Every single time without fail. This is a strange thing to understand given that I disliked it so much, that the first times I went back I was hesitant to even walk in the building. However, for all of the frustration over the students, the teachers, the administration, and the environment in general, there are people in my high school who molded me and continue to mold me into who I am today.
One of the biggest pieces of advice I used to give incoming freshmen to my high school was to find a teacher they connected with and simply to stay in touch.
Not for a future college recommendation, or to have a good grade in the class but simply to learn more than what the curriculum could offer. That, to me, is where real learning happens and it is so important.
One of the main reasons that I survived high school and was able to maintain my passion for learning, no matter the subject, was because of amazing teachers who pushed me to learn, who helped nurture my learning, and who demanded that I uphold my standards even when I felt as though others were lowering theirs.
These teachers truly allowed me to grow into a lifelong learner, and for that, I will be forever grateful.
There are plenty of reasons to dislike high school, and I still have not changed my mind about my experience nor do I think I ever will. However, to me, it is always worth going back and important to go back.
I go back to thank the teachers who allowed me space to grow when I felt like the world wanted me to stay small. I go back to thank the teachers who saw me as both a student and a person, and not just a statistic for their future AP exam score distribution. I go back to my high school every time I am home because even though I disliked it, it is where I grew the most and remembering those roots is one of the ways that I choose to ground myself.
To the high school freshman, sophomore, junior, senior, or alumni: think about the teachers that were important to you, the staff or friends or clubs that helped you through high school - whether you enjoyed it or didn't - and appreciate that. Find a teacher you connect with and allow yourself to connect because you will learn to love learning, and you will break through to bigger and better things.