Discovering Who You Really Are

Discovering Who You Really Are

The Best Part Of Getting Lost Is Finding Yourself..
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Growing up I always wondered what type of person I was going to become. Was I going to be like my mom? Or even maybe my sister? I was so curious because I want to be that person that everybody loves, who people want to be friends with, and most importantly somebody who I knew my family would be proud of.

I faced many challenges growing up. Some I overcame, yet some I still deal with. I went through my parent's divorce, I was bullied throughout middle school and partially through high school, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, and I almost lost my sister while she was giving birth to my twin nieces, plus more (but you get the picture).

I have always been the shy girl; the girl that sat in class quite and praying that she would not get called on by the teacher. I have always been so paranoid about what everyone else would think of me I was always trying to fit in and hoping that they would like me.

The older I get the more I realize that all those things I was so worried about growing up were so dense. I was so caught up in the present and trying to fit in instead of really just trying to be me.

My mom always told me growing up, "stay true to who you really are." My mom could not be any more accurate. Staying true to who you are, your morals, and your faith is what molds you as a person and what sets you apart from everybody else.

Growing up I don't think we truly ever find out who we really are as we are always growing and learning from our past. I am 22 years old and I am still trying to find out who I really am. In life, we are faced with tough battles and in the real world, it is sometimes very easy to lose who we really are and just go with the flow.

When asking my mom to describe the type of person I am she said compassionate, outgoing, and ambitious( Thanks, mom). When asking my step-dad he said, beautiful, energetic, and happy (Hal you rock). When asking my best friend she said, spunky, selfless, and sweet (love you, Hailee). When asking my boyfriend he said, loving, caring, and unique (Brandon thanks for putting up with me).

So as I continue to grow into who I really am, I hope to take those traits that very important people in my life said about me. Because who they see me as is important and I want others to see e for who I am.

So to the girl that is trying to find herself, stay true to who you really are and don't give up on yourself because as an individual we all continue to grow and develop new unique characteristics that will stick with us. Attract what you expect, reflect what you desire, become what you respect, and mirror what you admire.

Life is not only about finding yourself, but discovering who God created you to be.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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22 New Things That I Want To Try Now That I'm 22

A bucket list for my 22nd year.

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"I don't know about you but I'm feelin' 22", I have waited 6 long years to sing that and actually be 22! Now 22 doesn't seem like a big deal to people because you can't do anything that you couldn't do before and you're still super young. But I'm determined to make my 22nd year a year filled with new adventures and new experiences. So here's to 22.

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The Truth About the Illusion of Perfection

No one's life is perfect, because we aren't perfect people.

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When I was younger, I was a huge perfectionist. I strived to make perfect scores on tests and quizzes, to get along with absolutely everyone, and to be the best horseback rider I could be. I wanted the *best* and would not settle for anything less. And if I did not meet these extravagant goals of mine, I would beat myself up over it. In my head, anything less than perfect had meant that I failed.

As I got older though, I realized that perfection is not as attainable as I once thought. In elementary school and early in middle school, I thought perfection was attainable, which is why I brutally beat myself up over not reaching it. Many years went by before I came to terms with the truth that perfection is unattainable. As humans, we are not meant to live "perfect" lives, because we aren't perfect people.

In all honesty, I still occasionally struggle with the lust for perfection. I've more recently come to terms with the fact that I used to be content in settling for the mere appearance of perfection. I settled for believing that if everyone else thought I was thriving, then I could be content with that, even if internally I struggled to keep up with all the commitments I drowned myself in.

In the past year, I learned that not only is perfection in itself unattainable, but also that the illusion of perfection, like the one I tried to manifest of my own life to others, is just as unreal. Technology has allowed the world to be connected more than it has ever been before, which therefore allows us to see more of other people's lives. And I love it. Social media definitely has it's harped upon cons, but if used beneficially, it can be fun. I love keeping up with my friends at other colleges and my distant family members.

But of course, no one is sharing all their life's imperfections. Social media is a continuous stream of amazing moments. People are sharing their favorite experiences and pictures with the world. Yet as normal living people, we all have imperfect moments. Perfection is an illusion. No one has it all together, and that is perfectly fine.

A bunch of freedom comes with being content in imperfection. At least for me, it felt like a weight was taken off of my shoulders. If we stop expecting perfection out of ourselves, we will be a whole lot happier. And if we stop believing in the portrayed illusion of perfection in other people's lives, we will be a whole lot happier, too.

My closest friendships this past year formed from sharing some of my imperfectness with others. Life has a pattern to it, and all of the things you may be going through have been encountered before in someone else's life. I have learned that many of us struggle with very similar circumstances, and it's nice to know that you aren't alone.

For example, I did not enjoy my first semester of college. I went through a bunch of life changes, and for a hot second, I felt like no one truly understood what I was feeling. Drifting from familiar people and a familiar routine took a toll on me. I thought that keeping up an illusion of perfection was the only way to cope, as everyone else seemed to be living their best life.

I saw so many fun pictures of my friends on Instagram and Snapchat and compared my situation to theirs. A part of me didn't believe I would ever be joyful in college. But one night I was very tired and stressed and opened up to someone who is now one of my closest friends. After telling her what I was thinking about college and life, she was so excited to tell me that she was struggling with the exact same thing. And we instantly bonded over a shared imperfect circumstance.

No one is perfect, which is such a cliché to say, but it's so true. What we see and what we hear is not always the full story. People are imperfect, and no one has their life completely together. Life is complex, and it's always changing, so there's no need to fall for the illusion of someone else's perfect life, or trying to create the illusion of perfection of your own.

There is a whole bunch of happiness in imperfection, messing up, and growth. Because if you aren't growing, you are staying the same.

Cover Image Credit:

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