From the very beginning, America has been a country where free speech thrives. Before the war for independence, the colonists shared their ideas with everyone through pamphlets such as The Federalist Papers and freely discussed their issues with the crown. Today, not much has changed in principal. Popular topics include feminist issues, the unisex bathroom debate, immigration, the presidential race, which baseball team is superior and even the question "Marvel or DC?" In a globalized world, the topics for disagreement are endless, and the forums in which they can be debated are ever increasing. You can hash it out with good friends over milkshakes at Denny's, or with complete strangers in the comments of a purposefully provocative Facebook post.

No matter the forum of conversation, however, a majority of my experience has shown peaceful disagreements to be the unicorns of the debate world. People get so personally invested in the topic of discussion that they seem to take any argument against it as an argument against them personally. It doesn't have to be that way. Once upon a time, two people could get together and discuss something as controversial as abortion without coming to blows over it. Those people may have actually had superpowers. In case such peaceful debate actually is possible, however, here's a few suggestions on how one might achieve such a thing without the benefit of superhuman abilities:

1. Remember that the person you are speaking with probably does not hate you.

Yes, you think that Captain America is far better than Iron Man, but I can come pretty darn close to guaranteeing you that your friendship is not over if the other person does not concede. Different opinions do exist outside of personal feelings for one another. When all is said and done, finish those milkshakes and hug it out instead of storming off to your separate homes.

2. Name calling is still something only first graders should be just now learning not to do.

Okay, you got into a debate about some serious social issue. Of course it matters a lot to you, otherwise, you wouldn't be so passionately and stubbornly arguing your points. Know right now, however, that calling the other person chauvinist, pompous, ignorant or idiotic is definitely not the way to get them to listen to you better. If anything, it's the best way to destroy a friendship and make that person even more unlikely to hear what you are trying to say.

3. Do not mock the other person's point of view.

Sarcastically putting what they said in quotes and adding ridiculous emphasis to it is definitely going to alienate the person further. For example, when someone says "there is a legitimate fear of ..." it does not help your case to then say "I don't care if you say 'Oooo, I'm so afraid of ...'" You just mocked something that they were attempting to bring to the table with honesty. Not only is that actually not a real refutation, but it also is much like the previous point in that it is making fun of them. Such actions have no place in civil debate.

4. Listen.

The art of listening seems to be a lost one. Yes, you may think your point is superior, but how will you prove it to the other person if you don't stop to even hear what they're saying? Often times people actually agree on some pretty key points but approach the situation in different ways. It's inability to listen that causes people to fail to see these areas of agreement. It's also incredibly important to let the other person know that you are listening. Tell them when you agree with something they say or see the truth in it. It helps them know that you're not trying to be their absolute enemy and that you actually are trying to hear them out, which will in turn help them offer you the same courtesy.

5. Stay calm.

This one goes hand in hand with listening. Even if you don't end up yelling at each other, it's very easy to get all worked up. If you get worked up, you can't listen. If you can't listen, you won't get anywhere as far as potentially changing the other person's mind. And whatever you do, don't speak quickly or raise your voice. That increases tension and leads to, again, neither party doing any listening. Or, if you find yourself in the unfortunate position of getting into an argument on a digital forum, never use all caps. If anything it just makes your ARGUMENT MORE DIFFICULT TO READ. See what I'm saying?

6. Don't make absolute claims ... ever.

Don't use the words always, never, every, none, or any variation of those words. Saying "nobody will think that," is a fallacy because you cannot guarantee that nobody in the world will think a certain way. If you're going to make a general or normative claim, do not make it all inclusive as absolutes do.

7. Use real statistics.

For goodness' sake do not say that suchandsuch a group has "had no problems" without actually taking three minutes to google the stats on the topic. Simply having never heard any problems on the issue does not mean that there are none. Unless you personally have polled millions of people or looked at the crime rates of an area and done the math to control for country size and population, you cannot make these claims with certainty without citing a few reputable sources.

8. Be willing to concede.

This, in my opinion, is the most important reason of all. What is the point of debate if it is not to better one's own thoughts, opinions and stances? People who enter debates with a mindset of absolute certainty and unwillingness to change are the reason people fight and the reason friendships are torn apart. Listening to the other person can teach you so much. If their arguments don't change your mind, at least you've allowed yourself to see where they are coming from and understand what they're saying and why they're saying it. Being willing to concede is the first step to being able to listen to another person. It is the first step to learning from a disagreement, even if neither party concedes in the end. You do not have to concede completely either. Sometimes you may come to a debate with a few wrong ideas amidst many correct ones. If you allow those wrong ideas to be corrected, you can make your argument even more appealing to the other side by recognizing the truth that they see. You may be absolutely certain that where you stand is what is right and true, and you may honestly believe that when all is said and done, but if you don't open your own mind to what the other person is saying, you do not benefit at all.

In the end, debate is a beautiful thing if it can be approached with the right mindset. It can be educational in many ways. It can help people understand each other's perspectives and learn from them. If people can't approach a disagreement with the right state of mind, however, there is much more harm and pain to endure than there is benefit.