Now before any of you start typing hate comments or send a mob of angry people with pitch forks to come find me, let me explain. I did dislike Christmas, but not for the reasons everyone thinks I did. And let me point out to you that the title is past tense. Christmas was my least favorite time of year, but it isn’t anymore and I’ll explain why.
Cutting down a Christmas tree, decorating the house, making Christmas cookies, and everything else that comes with the holiday called Christmas was never my thing. In fact, I kind of dreaded it. I’d getting a sinking feeling in my stomach the minute thanksgiving dinner ended, because I knew that was the last minute I could live “Christmas-free” until December 26 rolled around. Now let's get one thing straight, I’m not the Grinch who stole Christmas. I love the “reason for the season”. Jesus coming to earth as a baby is a true gift that should be celebrated! It’s all the extra stuff that bothers me. Not because I don’t like Christmas trees, carolers, or decorating delicious sugar cookies, but it’s because that picture perfect Christmas that this society so heavily advertises has never been and will never be my reality.
It will never be a reality for me because this picture perfect Christmas also requires a picture perfect family. Now I realize that there is no perfect family, but you get the picture. Mom and Dad sitting on the couch drinking hot cocoa while they stare endearingly down at their children opening the presents under the big green Christmas tree. Meanwhile, the family dog is running around, his mouth watering because he smells the magnificent dinner that the family will eat together around a dining table that looks like it came straight out of a home magazine. If this description of Christmas sounds similar to how it goes in your family, I’m so happy for you. And if that is you, I understand why Christmas is your absolute favorite time of the year. It’s filled with love, family, and happiness for you, and that is such a blessing! However, I also have to be honest and say for years I’ve envied you.
I would give anything to have that picture perfect Christmas that you have. For a long time, I hoped for it, but as I grew up I started to realize that was never going to happen for me or my family. Relationships are messy and people are separated, it doesn’t exactly make for a Merry Christmas. So I admit, I became cynical towards Christmas. I dreaded the month of December because I knew it would bring back all those wishful feelings for a perfect Christmas I never had. I know what you’re thinking. I’m being shallow. Christmas isn’t about presents under the tree and the decorations around the house, and I know that. Trust me, I rejoice in the fact that Jesus has come for us and that’s why we celebrate Christmas. However, I think we’d all be lying if we said the presents, cookies, and decorations aren’t the things that make this season so fun for many and they are important to Christmas. It might seem superficial to admit, but don’t we all want those things to be a part of our holiday season? I know I did, and I still do sometimes. But I’ve also come to a conclusion about Christmas.
My conclusion is this. I will never have the Christmas my younger self would hope for. But that’s okay. Because the Christmas I do have is different than anyone else’s. It’s the Christmas I’ve been blessed with by God. My Christmas isn’t a big Christmas tree, instead it’s a fake two foot Christmas tree set up on a coffee table with usually no shiny gifts around it except my sister, my brother, and my mom which are the greatest gifts of all. My Christmas isn’t going to a big family dinner on Christmas day. Instead it’s my siblings, my step dad, my mom, and I sitting on the couch eating our dinner while watching Christmas movies. My Christmas isn’t a family party that stretches all the way into the night. It’s the five members of my family, as dysfunctional as we are, sitting around the fire drinking sparkling cider while reading the Christmas story. My Christmas isn’t straight from the movies or the magazines, but it’s MY Christmas and that’s enough.